


A Drink Away from Honesty

by raccoonwritings



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Chloe is a bit worse in this universe not gonna lie, Coming Out, Kissing, Minor Violence, Multi, There will be fluff though, Underage Drinking, i promise im not that heartless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2019-11-12 22:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18020009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raccoonwritings/pseuds/raccoonwritings
Summary: Lucas is an oversharing drunk, Eliott is both desperate and dramatic, and everyone is trying to just keep everything straight.Or alternatively, Lucas and Eliott were childhood best friends until a storm tears them apart and brings them back together.(Title is from "Don't Miss Me?" by Marianas Trench)





	1. You May Be Dumb, but I Like You

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)  
Vendredi 20:59

In theory, a neon party sounds like a good idea. Hanging with his friends, a high probability of getting stoned or drunk, and a chance to get out of his head for just a few hours. Lucas was spending far too much time with himself lately and his friends were beginning to notice. What an opportunity this was for him to experience his teenage years the way they were meant to be experienced.  
Except it wasn’t.

As the topic of conversation turned to girls (like it always did), something inside Lucas was shifting. His stomach was queasy, and he was hoping, praying, for them to talk about something else.  
That didn’t happen, of course, with Basile’s fanatical obsession with females toppled with his poor interaction skills, a good portion of the evening was being spent on getting him laid. Or at least getting him a hookup. Well, Arthur and Yann were both looking for hookups too, Lucas surmised. He was, is absolutely fine without having a girl attached to his lips.

In a strange turn of events, an hour into the party found a first-year girl – Chloe, Lucas vaguely remembers – pressing him against a wall, her tongue warm and desperate against his. Her hands were roaming his torso, her chest up against his, making him feel slightly, no incredibly, uncomfortable. He knows he feels nothing, knows he’s not attracted to boobs and perfume and vanilla flavored lip glass, knows he prefers hard lines and muscle and messy hair and light eyes and – No, he couldn’t let himself go down that road. He wouldn’t let himself. For now, the girl pressing kisses into his neck was enough.

She was enough, until she was too much. She was enough until she was sinking to her knees and was unzipping his jeans. He didn’t want to do this here, in the hallway of a house of a person he’d met once, especially not in front of other people. Except, he had too. He has to continue playing the part, so he caught her attention, kissing her softly, and asking to take it somewhere more private. Walking through the party, towards the bathroom, Lucas makes eye contact with the boys, Arthur and Basile nodding approvingly while making googly eyes at Chloe, Yann smiling tentatively, knowingly. Sometimes, Lucas really hates Yann and the fact that he’s been known to overshare when drunk.

The walk to the bathroom wasn’t long enough for all the thoughts Lucas was trying to process. How was he going to do this? Could he let her do this? Was it fair? He knows he’s making excuses for himself and forcing himself to be like everyone else because it’s easier, better. Sometimes it’s just like that.

Soon enough, the alcohol and weed is kicking in, allowing him to crowd Chloe up against the bathroom door. Moving to slide his leg in between hers, Lucas began sucking a mark on her neck. They were like that for what felt like too long and not long enough before Chloe’s hand was caressing the door in search of the handle.

Suddenly, the door was opening, and Chloe was on her way to the ground, managing to drag Lucas with her by the grip she has on his shirt. The position they were now in was the opposite of what he would ever want – lying on a hard surface with a needy girl underneath him. His mind is once again racing and distracting him from what was going on around them. Distracting him from the stranger who was offering a hand to him to get up. He takes it, silently thankful, until he makes eye contact.

Messy hair, light eyes, hard lines, and muscle. It rattles him down to his core. Lucas knows the face – like he could ever forget it – without having to remove the mask covering the man’s mouth.

Eliott.

 

Lucas (4) and Eliott (6)  
Jeudi 14:09

It’s no secret that Lucas is impatient. It’s his specialty. It’s what makes him unique. Except when he wants to go home after a long day at daycare. He’s only four for heaven’s sake. He wants to walk around in his onesie and retrieve the blanket from his toddler bed, only to curl up on the couch and watch whatever cartoons his dad would put on the tv for him.

His hopes were dashed suddenly, and rather impolitely if you ask him, when his mother informs him that they are stopping at their neighbor’s house to return a ceramic serving plate. To Lucas, ‘neighbor’ was a bit of a stretch. They live all the way down the street! His little legs can only take him so far, so fast. Plus, it’s not like he can say no. Again, he’s only four.

When Mrs. Demaury greets them, inviting them inside, she nudges Lucas to go play with Eliott, her son, while the adults ‘have a chat.’ Reluctantly, he makes his way over the miniature table in the corner of the living room, which is full of crayons, colored paper, markers, and many more art supplies he notices upon closer inspection. The boy was sitting with his back was facing Lucas, allowing him only to be judged on the messy, most likely unbrushed, curly hair that sat atop his head. Lucas’ mom would never let him out of the house without combing his hair. Maybe that was a perk to being older.

Lucas sits opposite the boy, wedging his small frame into the chair pushed into the corner. He helps himself to a piece of paper without asking, because he was still learning his manners, and is deciding what to color as his hand softly reaches for the orange marker. Right before he could grasp the marker in his hand, he sees Eliott scoop up all the markers, including the orange one, and look at him for the first time.

“Oh sorry, did you want one?” He asks, with as much of a smirk a child could muster plastered on his stupid face.

What a prick.

He knows that Lucas wants the orange marker, hell he saw Lucas reach for it. It has been a long day and Lucas is just too tired to deal with this shit.

“Give me the orange one,” Lucas demands through pouting lips. He extends his arm towards where the markers are being held hostage and makes grabby hands.

Eliott giggles. “Nah, I’m okay.” He proceeds to chuck all the markers into a storage box that sits right underneath the table. Lucas fumes. He has had enough.

“Give me the orange marker! I want it!” He all but screams while stomping his small feet, thinking that would make Eliott share.

“You’re funny,” Eliott says, closing the box and starting to clean up the table.

Alright, it seems like Lucas is left to his own devices. He’s going to get that marker if it’s the last thing he does in his very young life. He is determined, so he moves quickly and ungracefully toward the marker bin, moving the plastic table with him. He reaches the bin, but before he can grab his well-deserved prize, Eliott slams the lid with his hand, preventing Lucas from opening it.

Lucas wants to cry. He really does. This is too much for his undeveloped emotions to handle. He decides that the only reasonable course of action is to pull Eliott’s chair far enough away where he can slide in and retrieve the marker. Remarkably, this isn’t his most thought out plan, but his brain doesn’t have the capacity to think rationally. Sue him.

He goes for it, wrapping his hands around one of the front legs of the chair and pulling it with all the strength in his small body. Admittedly, he doesn’t get very far, as he isn’t very strong, and decides to give up when he sees Eliott laughing above him.

“You’re surprising.”

Surprising, his ass. Honestly, he no longer has the energy to draw anything, but his desire for the orange marker has hit its peak. He turns to his last resort.

“Ms. DeMoory, Eliott won’t share!!!!!!!!” Lucas yells toward the front of the house, where the adults are still talking. This prompts both his mom and Eliott’s mom to enter the living room.

“Eliott, sweetheart, please share with Lucas. We don’t want him to start crying, now do we?” Mrs. DeMaury says soothingly. Lucas likes her already, although he rejects that he was going to cry. He’s a big boy, his mom says so, and he was not going to cry.

Okay, maybe he would’ve cried a little.

Regardless, Eliott eventually gave Lucas the marker, despite Lucas not wanting to draw anymore. Their parents slowly move to the kitchen to finish their conversation and Lucas marvels at the marker he now holds in his hands. Proof that he’s won. Of course, he had to resort to telling on Eliott, but still. He has the marker and Eliott doesn’t.

Right before Lucas’s mom goes to leave, Eliott addresses Lucas. “You may be dumb, but I like you.”

“You’re weird,” Lucas retorts, sticking his tongue out.

“Lucas, love, it’s time to go,” his mom calls. He runs to her, happy to finally be going home. He says goodbye to Mrs. Demaury and begins the walk home with his mom. Only when they enter his living room does Mrs. Lallemant notice what Lucas is still holding. “Lucas, is that Eliott’s marker?”

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)  
Vendredi 21:20

Lucas realizes he’s staring at Eliott too long and shakes himself out of his daze. “Thanks for the help, dude,” he articulates harshly. He knows that Eliott knows he recognizes him, but he has nothing left is his body but venom. Disdain.

Lucas is helping Chloe up when he hears Eliott’s voice for the first time in far too long. “Lucas, it’s me, Eliott,” he says, pulling the mask down and revealing his nose and mouth. The mouth Lucas knows too well. Or rather, he knew too well.

“Hi.” Lucas is being short on purpose and he hopes that Eliott understands. By the slight uncomfortable shifting Eliott does on his feet, Lucas knows he does. If he’s being honest, he has no interest in talking to him, now or ever. He is done thinking about him, about how much he misses hanging out with him, cuddling him, kissing him. That Lucas is behind him now and he wants to show Eliott that.  
Eliott’s voice tears him from his thoughts again. “How are you? It’s been a long time.” He seems genuinely interested in Lucas’ wellbeing when he has absolutely no right to be. He gave that right up when he dropped Lucas well over a year ago.

“I’m a bit busy right now, so if you wouldn’t mind,” Lucas gestures to the door. Get out. He wraps his arm around Chloe’s waist and when he sees Eliott move to speak again, he captures her lips in a kiss and deepens it automatically. He wants Eliott to get the hint and leave. It’s hard enough he has to pretend to find Chloe attractive, let alone do it in front of someone who knows it’s a front. That it’s fake.  
He can feel Eliott’s eyes on him, concerned, confused, and sad. You have no right to be concerned about me. You’re part of the reason I’m like this.

“Alright, I’ll leave you two alone, dude,” Eliott says, forcing a smile that Lucas can see right through. The hurt, the anguish, he can see it all. Lucas hates that he can still read those facial expressions like a book, even after all this time. He watches Eliott follow his wish and disappear through the bathroom door, closing it behind him. Once again, he leaves Lucas, but this time it was at Lucas’ request. He didn’t know if that hurt more than the first time he left, the time Lucas thought he left for good. He still had so many questions, but for now, he tries hard to focus on the girl in front of him, the girl who couldn’t possibly compare to the guy that just left.


	2. Meet Choupi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is an oversharing drunk, Eliott is both desperate and dramatic, and everyone is trying to just keep everything straight.
> 
> Or alternatively, Lucas and Eliott were childhood best friends until a storm tears them apart and brings them back together.
> 
> (Title is from "Don't Miss Me?" by Marianas Trench

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)

Samedi 11:34

Lucas wakes up with a headache that thumps and a need for water that is overpowered by the desire to get more sleep. He shouldn’t have gotten crossed, he knows, but it was all he could do to keep himself from thinking about Eliott. Meeting him again after this long must have been a dream, right? Ugh, thinking about it makes Lucas’ head pound more. He just needs to sleep.

Samedi 13:02

Lucas definitely hasn’t slept enough when Mika abruptly opens the door, shouting at Lucas to get his lazy ass out of bed, and pulling the blinds up to allow sunlight into the room.

“Up, kitten, up! You live in that bed!” Mika enthusiastically chants while crawling into Lucas’ bed with him. How ironic.

“Hnggg,” Lucas responds intelligently with his face smushed up against his incredibly flat pillow. He should really buy a new one. If his dad ever sends him money, of course.

“Well, aren’t you just the master of words this morning,” Mika sing songs. He snuggles up next to Lucas and receives a glare and another unintelligible noise. He soon finds Lisa joining the both of them in bed.

“You know what would get him up, Mika?” Lisa ponders knowingly.

“Why didn’t you mention sooner?” Mika extracts his phone from his pocket and pulls up Tinder. Lucas sees him clip the app icon and he is out. Despite having no energy and the pounding headache from before, he frantically detaches himself from the mattress and climbs over Lisa to reach the door.

“Sorry Mika, I have no desire to see the dicks of your Tinder hookups, or pictures of your dick,” Lucas grumbles, pushing down on the door handle and heading towards the bathroom.

Maybe a shower would help. Plus, he does smell a little of weed and shitty beer. A shower it is.

He walks out of the bathroom 20 minutes later, toweling his hair dry. Opting to grab some water before crawling back into bed, he makes a beeline for kitchen and searches the cabinet for a clean glass. There are used glasses in his room, on his desk, that he could wash and reuse, but that is far too much effort. Rearranging the far-left cabinet leads Lucas to find the secret set of nice glasses Mika must use for special occasions? Maybe they belonged to Manon and she left them here when she moved? Who knows. All that matters is that Lucas has a glass and can finally retreat back into his room.

With a half full glass of water – he chugged the first half – and a slightly damp towel, he treks back into bed. Finally, he’s alone. The water has helped his headache a little, but a pain killer couldn’t hurt. He downs a store brand equivalent of Tylenol and pulls out his phone for the first time that day to check his messages. Most were from the boys, just talking about the party last night, asking Lucas how far he went with Chloe, which he ignores with his entire being. He doesn’t want to talk about Chloe, who – of course – just then sends him a friend request on Facebook. He hates that he accepts, but he has to keep up the façade that he’s into her. This is enough to make him toss his phone aside and curl up in his singular blanket. Glancing around his room for something, anything to distract him, his eyes land on the recently empty cage that’s perched on his dresser. He really doesn’t want to think about that or anything else for that matter and actively ignores everything until his phone pings a short time later.

From: Unknown Number

Hey

To: Unknown Number

Who is this?

From: Unknown Number

How was your night with that girl?

Lucas couldn’t help but let out a huff. Who the fuck was this person asking about yesterday? He didn’t want to talk about it.

To: Unknown Number

Who is this?

 

Lucas isn’t answering any questions until he knows who he’s talking to. Unfortunately, he was waiting for a good hour before he discovered who has his number.

From: Unknown Number

You never gave me back my orange marker

 

For the love of God. Lucas is over this. He has no desire to talk to Eliott at all, except Eliott is obviously not feeling the same.

From: Don’t Answer

I was really attached to that orange marker, Lucas. It meant a lot to me!

It broke my heart when you never returned it.

It broke his heart? The audacity of him, honestly, to say that Lucas broke his heart. His sympathy and any naïve thought to respond was gone in an instant, only to be replaced by an all-consuming anger. A deep-seated sadness. This was the person who changed everything for him and left him to deal with the aftermath. The person who left him to retreat back into a skin he craved to shed. The person who forgot about him and was back again only to remind him of that.

Lucas (9) and Eliott (11)

Mercredi 15:19

“Mom says I can get a dog!” Lucas exclaims as he sits on Eliott’s bed. They had both gotten out of a class not long ago and it was tradition that they head to Eliott’s to watch movies and goof off.

“That’s cool! Except, dogs are so last year,” Eliott replies, sitting across from Lucas in his neon yellow desk chair. Lucas huffs.

“What do you mean “so last year”? All the kids in my class are getting dogs for Christmas this year!” Lucas defends his desire for a fluffy companion. Dogs were, are a classic.

“They were like all the craze last year. You know what animal is on the rise this year?” Eliott responds animatedly. Lucas loves seeing his best friend like this even though he sounds like a complete idiot.

“What animal is on the rise this year, Eliott? Please, enlighten me,” Lucas rolls his eyes and emphasizes the ‘enlighten’. If Eliott didn’t get that he was being sarcastic, than he would really wouldn’t understand people at all.

“Obviously, my sarcasm has rubbed off on you, and normally I’d say that you following in my footsteps is the way it should be, but considering you’re only nine, I’d say maybe dial it back a bit. Okay?” He smiles, crooked and genuine. Lucas nods and returns a toothy smile, encouraging Eliott to continue since he still hasn’t unveiled what animal has become the most popular. “Alright, so a dog is great, yeah, but what about a hedgehog?!” Eliott finishes his question with another smile and jazz hands, causing Lucas to burst out in laughs.

“A hedgehog? Really? How are they better than a dog?” Lucas crosses his arms over his body and awaits the other boy’s response.

“They are! They’re cute, don’t require walks, or are ridiculously needy. I don’t know, they just remind me you a bit, too.” Lucas’ heart warms at Eliott indirectly calling him cute. He doesn’t understand exactly why, but it makes him feel good. He knows his cheeks are reddening, but luckily Eliott has turned around to face his laptop and is in the process of searching for pictures of baby hedgehogs. He finds a particularly cute picture and beckons Lucas to his side, which he immediately follows.

Lucas can’t not admit that the baby hedgehog is quite cute, but he’d never admit that to his friend. He would never admit to him that he wanted one now, slightly because of the fact that these small animals reminded Eliott of him and very much because of the idea of not having to put forth a ton of effort in walking it and cleaning up its shit.

Lucas also wouldn’t admit, at least right now, that when he arrives at home that night for dinner, he asks his mom, pleads with her, to let him get a hedgehog. She denies him for the moment and asks him why he’s had a sudden change of heart, considering he had been pleading for a dog for months on end. He wouldn’t admit the real reason to her either.

Months later, after Lucas’ 10th birthday, Eliott is bounding up the stairs leading to Lucas’ bedroom and knocking open the door with clumsy force. Lucas is standing in front of his dresser, which dons a shiny new cage, with his arms wrapped around something small. He turns and smiles wide at his best friend.

“Meet Choupi!” He exclaims, removing one of his hands to reveal a baby hedgehog. Eliott’s grin is wild.

“You took my advice!” He says, bouncing his way over to Lucas on the other side of the room. He leans down to get a closer look at the small animal when he makes a revelation. “Wait, Choupi?! Really, Lucas?” Eliott laughs with his body and looks to see his friend blushing.

“I’m not that creative, okay! There’s no need to make fun.” Lucas says, turning away from his friend. He’s a bit embarrassed now.

“Hey, hey, I didn’t mean it to be mean. It’s cute, I like it. It reminds me of you,” Eliott says, smiling tentatively. Lucas’ is no longer embarrassed when he meets his friends eyes, eyes that are full of nothing but warmth.

“Want to hold him?”

“YES!” Lucas giggles at the excitement. He tells Eliott to open his hands and slowly glides Choupi into his palm. It’s not a surprise that Choupi takes an immediate liking to his best friend. He totally understands.

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)

Samedi 14:06

Lucas just stares at his phone. He can feel the anger bubbling. How dare he come back into his life like this. How dare he up root all the damage control he’s done. Well, he hasn’t exactly done anything yet, but Lucas knows a storm is coming. Eliott left with a storm and he’ll come back with a storm, Lucas knows. He used to love those storms.

He loses himself in his thoughts and doesn’t feel his phone ping again.

From: Don’t Answer

Please talk to me.

 

Lucas feels torn. A deep part of him, a part he has worked so hard to push down, wants to talk to him. He wants to feel connected to him again, but he knows that it is only going to hurt more in the end. He’s just going to leave again and Lucas can’t survive another one of that. He’s out of tape to piece his heart back together.

To: Don’t Answer

Leave me alone

 

From: Don’t Answer

Aha! You’re talking to me!

 

Lucas rolls his eyes.

 

From: Don’t Answer

So, how are you?

I’m good, thanks for asking

I could go for a coffee though

Wanna join me?

I’ll be down at the coffee shop

You know the one

The one we always went to

Our coffee shop

 

Lucas is dumb found. ‘Our coffee shop.’ They weren’t a ‘we.’ There was no ‘our.’ At least not anymore. Lucas contemplates for a several minutes before another ping from his cellphone makes the decision for him.

 

From: Don’t Answer

Shit, I forgot. I have to see Lucille later. I’m really sorry. Raincheck?

 

Lucas laughs bitterly, tossing his phone to the side. Yeah, raincheck.


	3. WE MADE AN AGREEMENT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is an oversharing drunk, Eliott is both desperate and dramatic, and everyone is trying to just keep everything straight.
> 
> Or alternatively, Lucas and Eliott were childhood best friends until a storm tears them apart and brings them back together.
> 
> (Title from “Don’t Miss Me?” by Marianas Trench)

Chapter 3: WE MADE AN AGREEMENT

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)  
Dimanche 20:52

Lucas spends the rest of the weekend ignoring all of Eliott’s texts – pleas, really – to meet. He ignores the memes, the inside jokes from when they were kids, the pictures of cute animals that he knew would make Lucas smile. It’s incredibly unfair, especially to Lucas’ heart. He distracts himself by doing the homework he neglected last week when he couldn’t sleep. At least he had something to pry his attention from the constant pinging of his phone  
From: Don’t Answer  
Hi, how are you?   
I’m okay today  
I really appreciate your concern for my wellbeing   
It’s rather touching  
But anyways  
I’m really sorry about the other day. I really wanted to see you, I promise.  
Lucille has just been on my case recently  
You know how she can be  
Please answer, Lucas  
I miss you   
Please

The fact that Lucas can hear Eliott’s texts in his own voice, begging for Lucas to respond, is eating away at him just a little bit. It’s dreadful. Lucas is trying to decide if he wants to answer when the boys start messaging in the group chat, and that isn’t something Lucas wants to deal with either, so he plugs his phone in on his bedside table and resumes his attempt at completing his Biology homework. It doesn’t go very well. 

From: Don’t Answer  
Okay so you’re ignoring me  
Two can play at that game

Lucas snorts. If he’s being completely honest with himself, he’s enjoying the effort that Eliott’s putting in to get his attention. It’s nice. The phone pings again. 

From: Don’t Answer  
Alright, only you can play at this game  
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee talk to me

Lucas bites his lip and the bullet.

To: Don’t Answer  
You’re an idiot  
I told you to leave me alone

 

From: Don’t Answer  
He   
S P E A K S

Alright, that makes him smile. Lucas will give him that. Eliott is just as dramatic now as he was a year ago, but then again Lucas didn’t expect that to change.

To: Don’t Answer  
Yeah but only to tell you to go the fuck away

From: Don’t Answer  
:(  
That’s not nice Lucas  
Didn’t you ever learn manners?   
And not to steal other people’s markers

Alright. He has had enough of this shit. He’s just about to respond when it comes to him. He knows how to get Eliott to shut up. Well, in theory. 

To: Don’t Answer  
Someone doesn’t know how to   
L E T   
I T  
G O O O O O O O O O O 

From: Don’t Answer  
NO LUCAS  
NO FROZEN  
WE MADE AN AGREEMENT

Lucas lets his laughter fill the room. He’s missed this, but he’ll never tell Eliott that. 

To: Don’t Answer  
Goodnight Eliott  
I’m going to go sleep  
…

From: Don’t Answer  
Don’t do it, Lucas

To: Don’t Answer  
For the first time in foreverrrrrrrrrrrr

 

From: Don’t Answer   
DIWOQNEKLRFDCRPKETHOBG  
LUCAS   
Wait you said goodnight to me :,)

Lucas rolls his eyes and turns out the light. He feels his phone vibrate one more time before he goes to sleep. He’ll answer it in the morning. 

From: Eliott   
Goodnight, Lucas. I missed you. So much. 

 

Lucas (11) and Eliott (13)  
Mercredi 17:01

“What movie do you wanna watch?” Lucas is lounging on his bed while Eliott is on his knees, searching through the large pile of dvds laying on the floor. 

“I don’t know, why do you think I’m looking for one to watch?” Eliott muses, flashing Lucas a smirk. 

“There are plenty of good movies, just choose one. I’m wasting away over here,” Lucas pouts. 

Eliott laughs, “what do you mean you’re wasting away?”

“You took the snacks with you.” 

“Oh my god, you’re seriously that lazy?! I’m not that far away from you!” Eliott takes a handful of popcorn and throws it at Lucas. It doesn’t do much more than create an obstacle course of now dirty popcorn.

“Don’t waste the popcorn! I’m hungry!” Lucas whines, mourning the loss of his dear popcorn.

“Cranky,” Eliott responds, standing up from the dvd pile. “There’s nothing good here.” He joins his best friend on the bed. 

“There has to be something!” Lucas searches around his bed for something they can watch and grabs the first dvd case he sees. “Here!” He chucks the plastic container at Eliott, hitting him. 

“OW!” Eliott says, clutching the spot on his arm where the case hit him as if he’s been shot. He dramatically falls on his side. “I’m dying!”

“You’re so freaking dramatic!” Lucas is laughing and moving to hit Eliott again because he deserves. Before he can, Eliott catches his wrist. Lucas makes eye contact with him and realizes just how light Eliott’s eyes are, how much he likes them. The thought halts his brain and renders him motionless. 

His friend’s voice snaps him out of his stupor. “Why do you have a dvd of Frozen?!” He notices Eliott waving the plastic rectangle at him.

“My cousin was over a few weeks ago and we sat in here and watched the movie cause she really likes it. It’s not actually a bad movie,” he admits as he feels his cheeks warm.

“Excuse me, did I just hear you say that you like Frozen?” Eliott exclaims dramatically. 

“It’s not that bad! What’s your problem with it?” Lucas grumbles. 

“It’s like the worst movie ever! It’s the only thing girls in my class talk about. ‘Let it go, let it gooooo!’ God, I hear it too much.” Eliott flops down next to Lucas, which allows Lucas the opportunity to reach over quickly and grab the dvd. He leaps off the bed and dashes to the dvd player. 

“We’re watching it!” Lucas shouts, with a bright smile. Eliott catches him before he can put the dvd in and picks Lucas up by his waist, pulling him away from the tv. “Noooooooooo!” He shouts, flailing his legs in an attempt to get Eliott to drop him. The attempt fails and Eliott drops him on the bed. 

“We aren’t watching Frozen, Lucas.” He takes the dvd from Lucas’ relatively smaller hands and chucks it behind the bed. Lucas pouts and eventually gets his way, because he always does when it comes to Eliott. Eliott has a soft spot for him and he’s fully aware of it. 

When it comes time for the song Eliott hates the most, Lucas uses all his might to belt the lyrics. This prompts Eliott to attack Lucas and tickle him until he can’t breathe. Lucas hates tickles.

“I’ll stop tickling you if you agree to never watch Frozen again,” Eliott says when the hands tickling Lucas’ sides still. 

Between heavy breaths, Lucas huffs. “I’ll survive. I wanna watch the res-“

The hands tickling him start up again causing him to laugh. “Say yes to the agreement, Lulu. Say yes or the tickles continue,” Eliott threatens. Finally, after an assault that Lucas tries his hardest to survive, he gives in.

“Fine, fine, fine!” Lucas all but screams. He just needs to breath. 

“So you agree to the agreement?” Eliott quirks an eyebrow. 

“Yes, we’ll never watch Frozen again.” 

“And you’ll never reference it again?” Man, Eliott just keeps on pushing it. 

“Fine, okay, just stop tickling please,” Lucas sits up and catches his breath. Eliott is smiling wide at him.

“I always get my way with you,” Eliott meets his gaze. 

Guess Eliott knows Lucas has a soft spot for him, too.


	4. Frivolous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is an oversharing drunk, Eliott is both desperate and dramatic, and everyone is trying to just keep everything straight.
> 
> Or alternatively, Lucas and Eliott were childhood best friends until a storm tears them apart and brings them back together.
> 
> (Title from “Don’t Miss Me?” by Marianas Trench)

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)  
Lundi 08:15

His biology homework is unfinished, but it doesn’t concern him all that much. Minimalism. It’s an art form. Plus, if he’s sneaky enough he could leech off of Imane’s assignment. She’s very aware of the shit he tries to pull though, so he better be careful.

The boys are standing in the corner of the courtyard, right by the front door, which Lucas makes a beeline towards. Even though he’s spent the weekend ignoring their messages, he knows what excuses he can use to get them to move from the topic quickly. He hates lying to the boys, but he doesn’t exactly feel like bringing up the fact that Eliott is back and barreling into his life again, and that he isn’t completely opposed to it.

“She’s totally into you! No, I swear!” Arthur reassures Basile, as Lucas joins the group. He’s probably talking about Daphne. He’s always talking about Daphne, the poor girl. Yann notices Lucas and greets him with a handshake, causing Arthur and Basile to do the same.

“Hey man, how was Friday? We didn’t see you after left with that girl!” Arthur asks enthusiastically.

“Yeah, she was HOT!” Basile exclaims and Lucas already want’s out of this conversation. After Eliott left the bathroom, Chloe continued her assault on his face, of which he was not a huge fan, and was abruptly interrupted by someone who burst in to let them both know that the police had arrived because of a noise complaint. Lucas was out. He wasn’t about to get caught with the weed in his back pocket, so he ditched Chloe and bolted out the window. Luckily, the weed was still in his pocket when he got home. Who knows what would’ve happened if he’d lost it.

“It was good,” he mentions offhandedly, hoping that will be the end of the conversation. Yann steps in and pulls the conversation away from Lucas. What would he do without him?

“This girl I met at the party, she’s totally into me. I think I’m going to ask her out on Friday, see where it goes.” He seems excited and Lucas is happy for him, despite the small twinge of jealousy he feels run rampant through his chest. He’s not fully over the crush he had on his best friend last year, which was only made worse when they got drunk together before the beginning of the term, when Lucas spilled his guts. Well, most of his guts. He hadn’t yet had the courage to divulge his feelings for Yann yet, but that’s alright. He’ll get around to it eventually.

Arthur interrupts Yann’s gushing to inform the group of some very important information. “Did you guys here about the third year transfer? Apparently, he was at the party and all the girls were fawning over him.” Who transfers in the middle of the school year? Lucas had a lot of questions, none that important, apparently, because Basile interrupted with his usual concerns.

“Do you think he could give me some tips? He hasn’t even been here that long and the girls are already all over him?” Basile is actually that desperate.

“You’d need more than tips to help you get laid, man. He’d look at you and think that you’re a lost cause,” Yann quips back, causing Lucas to laugh. Between the two of them, they could cause some serious damage to Basile’s ego.

“Maybe just try not to be so creepy with girls. They may start to like you more,” Lucas offers as the only piece of advice he has on girls. “That’s if any of them would actually like you in the first place.”

Their conversation is interrupted as soon as they reach the locker. “Hi!” Lucas turns to find Chloe standing right of him and the boys. The knot in his stomach returns and he swallows thickly.

“Well, alright man, we have to go study for a test,” Arthur interjects.

“What test?” Basile questions, ogling Chloe, who’s unperceptive due to Lucas’ presence.

“The BAC? At the end of the year? Just come on!” Arthur nearly drags Basile with him and Yann, leaving Chloe and Lucas alone. Wonderful. He knows that Arthur was trying to be supportive and that he wouldn’t have done that if he knew Lucas had no real interest in her, but alas. Arthur hasn’t a clue.

“Hi,” Lucas starts a little uncomfortably. Smooth, Lucas, smooth.

“How are you?” She asks a little too giddy.

“I’m okay, how ar-“ He doesn’t get to finish before she interrupts.

“I was wondering, if you’d want to do something with me on Wednesday? Maybe we could go see a movie or do something?” She was hopping a little on her feet, indicating to Lucas that she was nervous. Shit, he had to think of something real fast to get out of this.

“You know I’d like to, but I already have plans wit-” He doesn’t get to finish this sentence either, and as much as he frustrated by how much he’s being interrupted today, he’s even more angry when he sees who interrupted him.

“Me.” There staring down at them was Eliott. Eliott with his messy raccoon hair and his light eyes and his smile that makes Lucas’ heart melt every time he sees it no matter how hard he wishes he could remain unaffected. Eliott was here, in his school, where he shouldn’t be. He should have graduated last year, in a different school, somewhere else, without Lucas. He wasn’t mad about it, wouldn’t have been mad about it if Eliott had decided he was worth keeping.

“Oh! Hi! We met at the party on Friday, I’m Chloe!” She extends her hand for a handshake to which Eliott shakes reluctantly.

“Hello, nice to meet you, I’m Eliott. Lucas’ best friend.”

Lucas’ head shot up. ‘Best friend?’ Excuse him? He didn’t actually just say that, except Lucas was pretty damn sure he heard those words leave Eliott’s mouth. The fucking audacity.

“Well, maybe we could all do something together then!” Chloe continues. This girl doesn’t know when to give up.

“Actually, it’s only for the two of us, but maybe next time,” Eliott says, with the biggest fake smile plastered on his face. Lucas could tell Eliott didn’t like her, and honestly, he couldn’t blame him. She was a bit annoying.

“Well, I’ll send you my number on Facebook and we can set something up,” she smiles genuinely and then leaves to make her way to her classes. Lucas breathes one, singular sigh of relief. Now, he only had one problem left to deal. One excruciatingly attractive problem. One excruciatingly attractive problem that he was absolutely not in any place to deal with.

He turns to face Eliott, looking up at him for the second time in over a year. “What are you doing here?” He asks through his teeth, because he’s both angry and wants to know why his former friend had followed him to his school.

“I go to school here now. Isn’t it great? We’ll have time to catch up and I can even sit with you and your friends at lunch. Yann, Basile, and Arthur, right?” He meets Lucas’ eyes and gives him a timid smile. Lucas knows he’s being genuine, but he wants absolutely nothing to do with this. That’s when he realizes, that the new third year transfer Arthur was talking about is him.

Lucas’ curiosity is starting to take over, because fuck, none of this makes any sense. “But, wait, why are you still in school? Shouldn’t you hav-” he is getting interrupted far too many times today.

“Frivolous, dear Lucas, frivolous,” Eliott says, ruffling his hair. Lucas’s eyes go wide – he knows what that hair ruffle means and he hates it. He wants Eliott to disappear, to go back where he used to be, far away from him and everything he destroyed.

He looks up at Eliott and purses his lips, daring him to do what he knows he won’t do. “Why are you here, Eliott?”

Eliott crowds into his personal space and moves his face close to Lucas’. Lucas can smell his cologne, can breathe him in. He’s trying not to get distracted, but Eliott’s lips are so close to his, it’s driving him insane. He almost forgets that he’s in public. “You’ll have to find out on Wednesday, when you come to my apartment and have a drink with me,” he says, running his hand through Lucas’ hair one more time, stepping away, and leaving Lucas standing in the hallway like a fool. Eliott always did make him feel like a fool anyway.

Lucas stares after him for a handful of seconds before snapping himself out of his stupor and opens his locker. A piece of paper shoots it way out and lands on the floor after a long descent. He doesn’t have to open it to know what it contains.

Inside, on the left, is a picture of a raccoon looking sad as he watches a hedgehog make his way down the hallway. The hedgehog’s quills are standing up as he trudges along with his head looking down. On the right is a drawing of a raccoon and a hedgehog smiling at each other, the raccoon holding flowers and the hedgehog surrounded by hearts. Underneath this picture, ‘If Eliott #3 hadn’t ruined it’ is written in cursive. Lucas’s heart melts and breaks, and he can’t decipher what game Eliott is trying to play. He didn’t care about him anymore, that much was painfully clear, so why was he doing this? Why was he trying to insert himself back into Lucas’ life again? Taking a deep breath, Lucas closes his locker, crumbles the drawing, and throws it in the garbage on his way to class.

Once he sits down, he pulls out his phone.

To: Yann

He’s back

 

Lucas (8) and Eliott (10)  
Lundi 17:34

“Do you have a valentine yet?” Eliott asks warmly as they walk down towards his house. Valentines Day was rapidly approaching and Lucas wasn’t a huge fan of the day itself. He doesn’t enjoy the idea of having to pick someone to be his valentine. He didn’t really like anyone in his class that much, especially not any of the girls. He hates that people keep asking him about it. The only person he really likes is Eliott.

“No, I don’t want one,” Lucas answers honestly. Eliott is trying to balance on concrete curb while directing his attention towards his friend.

“Why not? There must be someone you like!” Eliott all but shouts. “Come on, you can’t tell me there’s no one you want to be your Valentine.”

Lucas shakes his head. Girls are gross.

“What about Maxine? You’re always talking about her!” Eliott asks, trying to get any information from Lucas that he can.

“I only talked about her because she was my project partner last week!” Lucas wanted to change the subject or at least get the attention off of himself. “What about you? Do you have a valentine?” Lucas asks curiously.

Eliott shrugs. “I was thinking about asking a girl in my class to be my valentine. She’s cool, I like her glasses,” he says with a small smile. Lucas looks at him and feels funny. He doesn’t like this topic anymore, but Eliott keeps talking. “Yeah, I think I’m going to leave her a drawing to ask her if she wants to be my valentine.” Lucas scrunches his nose.

“That’s lame! You gotta buy her candy!” Lucas explains for Eliott’s own good. Girls like candy way more than drawings.

“You’re just saying that because you like candy! “ Eliott is laughing now. “I want to leave her a drawing. I think she’ll like it! Plus, it’s better than one of those dumb already written valentines that my mom bought.” Eliott convinces himself and Lucas suddenly feels a little sad.

“Can we not talk about this anymore?” Lucas asks, eyes glued to the ground. Eliott hops down next to his friend because he knows something is wrong.

“Hey, what’s bothering you?” Eliott is concerned. He always is, that’s one of the things Lucas likes most about his friend.

“I don’t know, I guess I just don’t want a valentine, but if you’re going to have one maybe I should to?” He looks up, needing reassurance.

“Hey, Lulu, it’s okay not to have a valentine. No one says you have to, and you certainly should do it just because I am.” Eliott rubs Lucas’ shoulder gently, giving him the comfort he needs.

“Okay.” Lucas looks back at the ground.

“You know what! I’ll be your valentine!” Eliott exclaims, as if he’s just figured out the solution to world hunger. This idea makes Lucas panic for some reason.

“No, no, no! That’s okay!” He frantically shouts, trying to persuade Eliott from his idea. Eliott frowns.

“What? You don’t want to be my valentine?” Lucas has made him sad now and he can’t bare that thought.

“Of course, I do! It’s just, you can’t be my valentine, you’re a boy,” Lucas explains. They could only have girl valentines.

“Why does it matter if I’m a boy? If I want to be your valentine, the only thing that matters is if you want to be my valentine, right?” Eliott looks nervous now. Almost as if he thought that Lucas didn’t want to be his valentine. They were best friends, they could be valentines too, right?

“I guess, yeah. Okay, you can be my valentine…if you want,” Lucas offers nervously. He’s playing with his hands, trying to distract himself when Eliott pulls them apart and grasps one of them in his own.

“Okay valentine!” He says happily, swinging their conjoined hands.

Not long after, on Valentines Day, Lucas is digging through his bag for a crumpled-up worksheet when he discovers a small folded piece of lined paper smushed into the top of his backpack.

He opens it up and sees a poorly drawn picture of two people holding hands and smiling. The picture has a caption: “Valentine, I owe you candy!”

Lucas smiles, knowing exactly who it’s from. Maybe Valentine’s Day isn’t so bad after all.


	5. You're Little

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is an oversharing drunk, Eliott is both desperate and dramatic, and everyone is trying to just keep everything straight.
> 
> Or alternatively, Lucas and Eliott were childhood best friends until a storm tears them apart and brings them back together.
> 
> (Title from “Don’t Miss Me?” by Marianas Trench)

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)  
Lundi 18:45

“What do I do?!” Lucas dramatically flops down on his bed, next to Yann. He had called Yann here on the premise of needing best friend support and this time is was absolutely necessary.

“You’re so dramatic,” Yann says, not even bothering to look up from his phone. Lucas sits up instantly, ready to rumble.

“I am not dramatic!” He attempts to convince Yann – and himself. He watches Yann get up off the bed and look at him directly in the eyes.

“What do I doooooooo?!” Yann mimics Lucas from moments ago as he drops himself on the bed with force.

Lucas pouts and crosses his arms. “You’re mean”

“Here comes the pout,” Yann grins. He pouts even more.

“I’m being serious! I called you here for best friend support and you’re making fun of me! I need help!” Lucas kicks his feet a little.

“Am I even your best friend?” Yann questions seriously, forcing Lucas to sit up.

“Of course you are! Why would you even question that?”

“Well, apparently, your former best friend is walking around telling the whole school that you’re his best friend. A bit rude if you ask me.”

Lucas groans so loud that the floor vibrates. Eliott is really going the mile to make his life hell and to think he’s only been here for a couple of days.

“You’re my best friend, Yann. Eliott is just dramatic.”

“That makes two of you.” Yann receives a glare for that. “Oh, come on. You’re dramatic, he’s dramatic, you’d make a perfect match!” Lucas’ back goes stiff. He doesn’t remember how much of the story he told Yann and he doesn’t have the emotional stability today to explain it again or to even fill in the missing parts.

“If you’re not going to give me best friend support, I’ll go ask Mika for help,” Lucas gets up off the bed and waits for the reaction he knows is coming.

“Okay, okay! I’ll help you. Explain the situation.”

“So, at the party on Friday, when Chloe and I went to the bathroom,” Lucas feels himself shutter at the thought. “We were making out against the door, when it opened, and there he was behind the door. I thought it was just a fluke, a one-off thing, but then he showed up at school today. I thought he was following me or something, but he says he goes here now. He interrupted me and Chloe again and he managed to convince her that we already made plans for the both of us when Chloe wanted to go on a date with me. She left, but I think he is actually expecting me to hangout with him and I don’t know what to do.” Lucas rushes through his story, hoping that Yann caught at least half of it. Explaining it stresses him out.

“Well, do you want to hang out with him?” Yann ponders. Lucas doesn’t answer quick enough, apparently. “Wait, do you actually want to?”

“I don’t know! It pisses me off the way he acts like nothing happened. He hasn’t acknowledged anything. He aggravates me, acting all smooth and–” He hears Yann snort.

“Acting all smooth,” Yann laughs. His best friend is really not giving him the support he wants right now. “You still have a thing for him, don’t you?”

Nope, nope, nope. Lucas wants out of this conversation. He’s not ready to deal with that yet. “No, it just bothers me how he thinks he can walk in here and make do like nothing happened.”

“He’s really seeming to get under your skin, especially for all two times you’ve talked to him. Are you sure you don’t still have feelings for him?” Yann sees right through him, but he isn’t ready to face what he’s pushed deep down for over a year now. He also really wishes he wouldn’t get honest drunk.

“You’re not giving me an answer to my problem!” Lucas whines. “What do I do about seeing him?”

Yann doesn’t speak for a moment and Lucas can see the wheels turning in his head. “You should do it.” Excuse, him? Did Lucas hear that right?

“What?” Lucas asks incredulously. Yann better have a good explanation for this.

“Well, maybe he wants to apologize.” Yeah, no. That definitely wasn’t it. “Maybe he misses you and just wants to hang out again.” Hm, maybe. “It could also give you an opportunity to give him hell for how much he hurt you.” Oh, well, that’s an idea.

“I don’t know if I have the capability to get that angry directly to his face.” Lucas pictures him and holds back his natural reflex to smile at the thought of the bushy haired, lanky boy. He really doesn’t think he could get pissed at him in his presence.

“Trust me, you could.” Yann confirms. “You can be quite the angry little person.”

“Little?!” Lucas angry pouts. “I am not little!”

Yann takes a handful of popcorn from the near empty bowl on the bed. “You’re little.”

“I don’t like you.”

“False. Categorically untrue. If you can remember back five minutes ago, you called me your best friend.” Lucas takes as much popcorn he can gather in his hand and throws it at him.

“You’re the worst.”

“No, I think that title goes to Eliott.”

Now, that, was something that Lucas could agree with

 

Mercredi 15:14

Lucas notices him as soon as he exits the school, leaning up against the wall of the courtyard with his eyes on his phone. He contemplates if he could sneak out of the courtyard without Eliott catching him, but he thinks too long because Eliott snaps his head up. Lucas swallows nervously as Eliott begins to approach him. His long legs carry him over to Lucas faster than he would have liked, considering all the thoughts racing in his head.

“Hi!” Eliott says through a wide smile. Lucas doesn’t answer but returns a timid half-smile.

“Oh, are you not going to speak to me? If we’re going to play this game, you know you’re going to win because I can’t shut up around you.” Lucas raises an eyebrow. “You know it’s true. I just can’t help myself around you,” Eliott tries to meet his gaze, but Lucas doesn’t let up. Not until Eliott runs a hand through his hair, which makes Lucas’ return the stare. “Got you to look,” Eliott smiles playfully. Lucas’ heart is going to have a hard time today, he can feel it. “Ready to go?”

No, Lucas is absolutely not ready to go, he’s not ready to sit alone with Eliott and deal with the aftermath of what has happened. It seems like he doesn’t have a choice though, because soon enough Eliott has a grip on his jacket sleeve and is pulling him towards the bus stop. He can feel himself walking along, but his mind has too much on it to actively focus on his physical movements.

He only gets out of his head when he realizes he’s sitting next to Eliott on the bus. Eliott is animatedly telling him something he doesn’t bother to try and listen to. All he can do is look at him, really look at him. He notices how his hair is longer, it’s curling a little more at the ends than it was back over a year ago. His eyes are still as beautiful as Lucas remembers, same as his smile. He lets himself indulge in the thoughts before Eliott picks up on his staring.

“Like what you see?” Eliott raises an eyebrow. Fuck him, he knows Lucas likes what he sees. He always has. He just decides to ignore him.

“Man, you’re actually not going to talk to me, huh?” Eliott looks concerned and attempts to stare into Lucas’ eyes. After a few minutes of silence, Eliott fidgets and tries again. “Lulu, what’s wrong?”

Lucas directs his attention out the window of the bus, trying his hardest to not get upset. It amazes him that Eliott has no clue how much he broke his heart. Actually, it doesn’t. Lucas could’ve, would’ve given him the world, his entire world, if Eliott had just stayed. It hurts too much to think that he meant so little to Eliott when Eliott told him the opposite. He wants to cry and realizes that coming with Eliott was a bad idea. He knew in his mind this was how today was going to go, but his heart can’t stay away. There’s some small part of him naïve enough to believe that Eliott still cares about him after all this time, but in reality, he’s just a thing Eliott can play with. It makes him woozy that he trusted him with his entire life a little over a year ago and now he can barely stand to be in his vicinity. Maybe he was too naïve back then.

Eliott reaches for his hand, causing Lucas to startle. He jumps up, deciding that he needs to get out of here right now. He doesn’t even catch Eliott’s gaze as he practically runs towards the front of the bus. Luckily, the bus stops and the doors fly open, allowing Lucas a means to exit. He doesn’t know what stop this is, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to be away from him. Unfortunately for him, his small frame allows Eliott to catch him before his feet can carry him far. “I’m not letting you go that easy.”

Lucas turns around, placing his hands against Eliott’s chest and looking into his eyes. “Why? It was easy to let me go last year. What’s so different now?”

He watches Eliott’s face drop. His hands feel Eliott’s heartbeat speed up. “Lucas, please let me explain.”

“You don’t get to. You shoving your tongue down another guy’s throat after telling me you wanted to be mine was your explanation.” The memory hurts, even after pushing it so deep down. He feels his eyes begin to itch, he feels the beginnings of tears. Eliott’s arms tighten around his waist.

“You saw that?” Eliott’s face falters. Lucas can see the fear.

“I saw everything, Eliott. Tell me, was it worth it? Did it feel good, fucking me in the morning and hooking up with someone else 12 hours later? Was I just not good enough for you? To inexperienced? Not attractive enough? Not worth it? Did I just not matter to you?” Lucas is angry and in tears and he just needs to be far away from here. He’s forgotten that they’re in the middle of the sidewalk, but he just can’t bring himself to care. He’s done talking about this, he wants to forget, to leave it behind and move on. He takes the momentary lapse in Eliott’s thoughts as an opportunity to wiggle free from his grasp.

“No, Lucas! Wait, please!” Eliott’s voice is desperate as his hand catches Lucas’ wrist.

“What do you want?! Can’t you see that I don’t want to talk to you?” Lucas pulls his hand away as a tear falls down his cheek. Eliott must’ve notice him crying because he let Lucas’s wrist go and stands there motionless, eyes watching the floor.

Lucas runs. He runs until he knows Eliott isn’t behind him. He runs until he’s out of breath. He runs until he can feel the cool wind grazing the tear tracks on his cheeks. He stops running, not wanting to keep going due do the fact he has no idea where he is. He looks around trying to determine a location and he can feel the tears stinging the back of his eyes. He needs to stop crying, he can do that when he gets home. He has a bedroom and a pile of blankets he can crawl under. He can ignore everything until tomorrow. He just has to get home first.

It takess him several hours to get home. He opts to walk the streets until well past dark, to let the cool weather sweep his tears away, to let the cool wind take all his problems away. It works well enough, until he gets to the apartment and feels his phone buzz.

From: Eliott  
Since I met you, you’re the only thing that mattered

Lucas fights tears and the urge to throw his phone to the ground. How could he blatantly lie like that? Eliott didn’t give a shit about him. The thoughts in his head are racing until a cab pulling up on the curb behind him pulls him out of his anger.

“Salut, Lucas!”

Manon’s back.

 

Lucas (13) and Eliott (15)  
Vendredi 20:20

Eliott’s dragged him to an upper school party and Lucas can’t discern how he feels. On the one hand, he’s glad that Eliott wanted to bring him, but he’s not enjoying the way that the girls are eyeing his best friend. He hates it, in fact. He doesn’t exactly know why, but the way all the girls at the party are staring, like they’d want him to push them against a wall, with his lips sucking at their necks. And no, he’s not making this up or catastrophizing, he literally heard one of the girls he passed by talking about how she wouldn’t mind being between his legs. He really doesn’t like girls that much, or at all to be honest.

He follows Eliott towards a group of boys, all much taller than he, and with a bit more muscle too. Lucas feels scrawny compared to them. Eliott introduces him as his best friend, and it makes his heart flutter, despite not knowing why. It didn’t make sense, because they always introduced the other as their best friend to new people. He just really likes being Eliott’s best friend.

Half an hour and two beers later, Lucas is feeling good. He’s not flat on his face drunk, but he has a nice buzz going. Eliott’s arm is wrapped around his waist, keeping him steady and if he pretends to be a bit more drunk so he can lean a little more into his best friend’s shoulder, he wouldn’t tell anyone. He wants to stay like this for as long as possible, because he’s warm and tipsy, and his best friend’s grip on his waist is slowly getting tighter with every second.

His happy bubble burst just a bit when someone suggests they play truth or dare. Knowing Eliott’s love for the game, Lucas wasn’t surprised when his friend pulled him down into the circle. Lucas feels a bit uneasy, considering he’s younger than everyone here and he doesn’t know anyone except for Eliott and his friends, who he’s only met in passing once. An hour ago.

Lucas watches as girls and boys go off in pairs for the dares to kiss or make out in the corner. He watches one girl give a lap dance to another guy, despite having a boyfriend. It wasn’t that entertaining for him, at all. He didn’t really want to kiss girls or be on the receiving or giving end of a dare, and luckily Eliott spoke up for him when someone tries to get him to kiss a girl named Elena, who he had noticed was looking at him funny the entire night. Lucas was glad that Eliott saved him from that turmoil, but then the next person suggested that because Lucas wasn’t going to do it, that Eliott should.

“If the pip squeak isn’t going to kiss her, then you have to, Eliott. It’s the rules,” a guy with shaggy blonde hair addresses Eliott.

“Yeah and you have to go in the closet with her. Seven minutes in heaven, I dare you,” another guys hollers.

The yelling and taunting Eliott was receiving didn’t stop until he accepted, agreeing and standing up to offer the girl his hand. Lucas stares as his best friend walks the girl out of the room, towards the closet door by the entrance to the house. Eliott disappears inside, shutting the door behind the two of them.

The next seven minutes are the longest of Lucas’ thirteen years on this planet. He just wants Eliott to come out and sit next to him again, and he gets his wish, but not without a price. The seven minutes are up and the entire circle is belting at them to exit the closet, which they do, and Lucas can’t help but notice two large marks on the side the girls neck. Those weren’t there before. He suddenly feels stone cold sober. He wants another beer and to be alone and away from all of the people hooting and cheering his best friend while the girl he went into the closet with blushes and begins excitedly talking to her friends.

Eliott returns to his spot next to Lucas and the game continues, but Lucas couldn’t care less. He checks out because all he can think of are his best friend’s lips sucking on that girl’s neck. How he hates that he went in there with her. How he wishes that he was the one with the marks on his collarbone.

That’s the thought that stops him in his tracks. He wants Eliott to give him hickeys? He wants to kiss Eliott? His mind races and he can’t help but take a quick glance at Eliott’s lips and think about how soft they must feel. Eliott’s hair is really soft, what must it be like to run a hand through while kissing him? He’s never kissed anyone before, but it doesn’t seem so daunting if he were to do it with Eliott. Best friends can kiss best friends and it wouldn’t be weird, right? No, it’s them. They’ve always been touchy-feely, so it wouldn’t be weird if they kissed.

Lucas crashes back down to reality when an older boy dares him to kiss another girl and he panics. Once again, Eliott steps in to take the heat for him, but he doesn’t want to see him kiss someone else. Not again. He’s still reeling from Eliott kissing the last girl and from the fact that he thinks he wants to kiss Eliott. The circle doesn’t let Eliott take the fall for Lucas this time though.

“Sorry dude, he has to kiss her, you can’t save him more than once,” a ginger haired boy tells Eliott, who fires back immediately.

“Leave the kid alone, he didn’t even want to come tonight and I made him. Just let him be.” Eliott’s arm wraps around his shoulder, protecting him. “Let me take his place.”

“Sorry, he’s gotta kiss her or someone, at least.”

Another person in the circle pipes up, “Why don’t you just kiss him if you don’t want him kissing anyone else?” This question gets lots of support and Lucas is reeling. He has to kiss Eliott? In front of all these people? His stomach starts to knot and he looks to his best friend who won’t make eye contact with him. Lucas wants to shake him, wants him to just say okay and get it over with, but he does something completely different instead.

“Alright, Lucas can kiss her,” Eliott’s voice cuts through his heart like daggers. Lucas feels himself slouch, but not enough to grasp any attention from the applause Eliott’s sentence gets. All eyes are on him and he wants to vomit. He doesn’t have enough time to process anything before he reluctantly gets up and walks over to her, taking her hand to pull her up. He tries to remember how the other guys were kissing girls a little while ago. He puts a hand at the back of her neck and slowly leans in, with what feels like rocks in his stomach.

It’s lack luster and doesn’t feel like anything. Her lips are fruity and glossy and he doesn’t enjoy it much. His first kiss is wasted on a girl he doesn’t like at a party he didn’t want to be at, because his best friend dragged him there and didn’t want to kiss him. He pulls away from him and smiles half heartedly to her before returning to his spot in the circle next to Eliott, whose eyes are on him the entire time. He refuses to look at his best friend, who he notices is concerned because of how far Lucas sits from him.

He decides he doesn’t like parties. Not at all. He also decides he needs another drink and to get out of this room before he starts to tear up. He gets up when all the attention is focused on another pair and heads for the kitchen, the fridge to get exact. All he can think about is that Eliott didn’t want to kiss him. He was so disgusted by the idea that he threw Lucas into the trenches to snog someone he didn’t like, he didn’t even know. His heart aches and he questions why it hurts so much that Eliott didn’t want to kiss him. He assumes it’s because his friend is disgusted by the prospect of locking lips.

Lucas pulls the fridge door open with force and grabs another beer. Popping the top off, he takes a big swig, causing him to cough because it goes down the wrong pipe. Once he’s recovered, he goes to chug the rest, because he doesn’t want to feel anymore, when Eliott pulls the half empty bottle from his hands. “Slow down there, Lucas. What’s going on, you never chug like that?” Eliott tilts his head down to catch Lucas’ eyes. He needs more alcohol in order to deal with this.

“Can I please have it back?” Lucas pleads, reaching up for the bottle, only to have Eliott finish the rest in one gulp. Lucas pouts. “Why did you do that? That was my beer.”

“Why do you need more when you’ve already had quite the handful tonight?” Eliott ponders.

“Just wanted more,” Lucas says softly, not wanting to tell him the real reason why.

“Lulu, tell me what’s bothering you, because something is. I know you.” That was something Lucas didn’t need to be reminded off.

The alcohol running through his system gave him some courage. “Was the idea of kissing me really that bad? Do I disgust you?” He looks up with tears beginning to form in his eyes. He sees Eliott’s face immediately soften and his hand comes up to stroke Lucas cheek with his thumb.

“Lulu, of course you don’t disgust me,” Eliott says softly in his ear. “Is that what this is about? The beer chugging? Is this because you’re upset I didn’t kiss you?” Eliott’s thumb rubs circles on his cheek while he shows Lucas a gentle, toothy smile.

“No, no, not that it’s just,” Lucas begins to get nervous, “you just threw me in to kiss some girl because someone dared you to kiss me. I don’t know, I guess I just thought that the idea bothered you or that you were disgusted by the thought of kissing me.” Lucas focuses his attention on his hands, which are nervously moving against one another. He refuses to look up, but the hand stroking his cheek moves under his chin to lift his head up. His eyes meet Eliott’s, which are filled with nothing but fondness and love.

“I didn’t know if you’d want to kiss me, that’s why I didn’t. I didn’t want to put you on the spot in the middle of a group of people you didn’t know.”

Lucas half laughs. “That’s what you did, though! You let them dare me to kiss someone else.” He begins talking rapidly. “Of course I wouldn’t want to have been put on the spot, but I would’ve rather kissed you than someone else, especially over someone I don’t know. I didn’t even know her and that was my first kiss and I guess I always thought it would’ve been more romantic and not in the middle of a truth or dare game, but you let it happen! You let me waste my first kiss on some girl I didn’t like or even know,” he’s starting to work himself up, “all because you didn’t know if I’d want to kiss you. I’d rather have kissed you than her Eliott and yo-” Lucas’ bordering-on-emotional rant was cut off by something soft against his mouth. Eliott was pressing his lips against Lucas’ and it was far more enjoyable than the one he shared with whatever her name was earlier that night. Lucas startles, but immediately starts to kiss and dares to knot his hand in the hair at the back of Eliott’s neck. Eliott wraps his arms around Lucas’ waist, like when he was steadying Lucas an hour or two ago. He doesn’t know how long they were kissing when Eliott pulls back, panting, lips puffy and red and plush. Lucas smiles at him, heart beating fast and hugs him forcefully.

Eliott whispers in his ear, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your first kiss meant so much to you.”

“It’s okay.”

“If you want, we can pretend I was your first kiss.”

And that, to Lucas, sounds so much better than reality.


	6. The Second One

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)  
Jeudi 17:09

Lucas’ plans with the boys are abruptly canceled when he gets called back home for an apartment meeting. He knows they have to talk about Manon and where’s she’s going to be living, considering she moved out a little while ago to travel to London with Charles. He doesn’t know how this is going to go and he’s already dreading it. He likes Manon, but it isn’t obvious to see that Mika and Lisa prefer having her around more than him. 

He sinks into the couch and waits for the others to arrive, which they do moments later. Manon sits on the arm of the couch to Lucas’ left and he has to admit he’s missed her. She hasn’t even said anything, but the presence she gives off is a comforting. Without her, he’d probably be sleeping in the park or hopping couches. He owes her a lot, he knows, and he really would give her as much as he can, except he really needs his own mental space right now. 

From: Chloe  
Hi Lucas! Would you want to go out on a date, like a proper one? Maybe tomorrow? 

Lucas groans and he tries to ignore it and actually follow the conversation going on between his roommates, which he immediately checks out of once he realizes they are talking about Manon’s trip and he just really wants to be playing video games and ordering junk food with the boys. 

“So, you expect us to just let you live here again? Just like that?” Mika says, dramatically staring out the window of the living room. Manon looks at him and looks at Lucas, who returns a ‘you know he’s kidding look’. He’s proven right just a few seconds later when Mika runs over to the couch, wrapping his arms around her and screeching that of course, she’s always welcome there, but that she just has to take Lucas’ room.

“Excuse me?” Lucas exclaims. 

“Are you kidding, Lucas? You’re going to let this poor sweet soul sleep on the couch? She deserves to have her room back. She did live here before you did, no?” 

“Yeah, she did, but she left the room to me when she left!” Lucas knows he isn’t going to win this argument and Manon looks absolutely petrified to be the cause of it. 

“It’s really okay, Mika, I can sleep on the couch. I slept well, anyways,” Manon insists, trying to deescalate the situation. 

“No, no, no. You deserve your room back. You’re like family to us, and Lucas is more like a cousin.” 

“More like a second cousin,” Lisa adds. 

“Guys!” Manon looks incredulous and upset.  
“Whatever, I’ll clean my stuff out and you can have the room back in the morning.” Lucas pulls himself out of the couch and heads towards his room.

“No, Lucas, she’ll have the room back tonight,” Mika demands.

“Mika!” Lucas can hear Manon as he enters his bedroom and he just really needs to be alone right now. He knows he’s not that close to them, Lisa and Mika specifically, but he didn’t expect to have it thrown in his face so flatly. The apartment felt so much better before Manon left. 

Time passes slowly while he packs up his measly belongings, throwing them begrudgingly and haphazardly into his moving boxes. He’s only gotten two small boxes stuffed before there’s a knock on the door. 

“Salut, Lucas,” Manon enters, looking a bit shyer than she was before. He can tell she feels bad about the situation. 

“Hi Manon, what’s up?” He says, not bothering to look at her. He knows he shouldn’t be directing the anger towards her, but he’s upset and he isn’t going to hide it. 

“I’m really sorry about before. I didn’t think that they would do that.” She offers, awkwardly standing in the entrance to her old room. Lucas takes the initiative to clean off enough of the bed so they can both sit. 

“Come here,” he tells her, patting the space on the bed next to him. She takes the offer graciously, walking to join him and sitting cross legged. 

“I really am sorry, Lucas. I really don’t mind taking the couch.” She smiles at him sadly, but Lucas can’t distinguish whether or not she’s actually thinking about the roommate situation. 

“It’s alright, Manon. The couch is fine, just as long as I have a place to sleep.” 

“How are you doing? Have things gotten any easier?” Her tone suddenly shifts to concern. 

“Things are okay. They’re fine,” he dismisses. He doesn’t really want to talk about anything, especially after what just happened, but he feels a small hand on his shoulder and looks to find Manon’s eyes boring into him. 

“Lucas. I’m here to talk, please tell me you still know that.” He knows, he’s just afraid. 

“I know, Manon. There’s just nothing to talk about,” he shrugs. He doesn’t even have to look at Manon to know she doesn’t believe him. “I just want to finish packing up.” 

Manon remains silent for a second, clearly thinking about something. “You know Lucas, we could share the room and the bed. If you want too. I’m probably going to spend more time at Emma’s house than here, and when Charles comes back, I can just grab my suitcase and that way you don’t have to pack and repack. I mean, it’s not like we haven’t shared the room before,” she smiles down at the floor, appearing to be reminiscing about when they first shared the room for an extended period of time. Lucas tries to ignore the thought of back then, not because he doesn’t appreciate what she’s done for him and the support she’s provided, but because he doesn’t have the emotional stability to do that right now. 

He takes a few moments to think about the possible resolution. “Wouldn’t Charles be upset about you sleeping in a bed with another guy?” He has to question that, at least.

“Lucas, we both now he would find you as a threat.” His insides shift at her statement, not because it’s intended to be hurtful, but because he remembers the state she found him in and the cause of said state.

“Okay,” he says, because it’s really the only thing that his brain can formulate. “We’ll share. Only if it’s okay with you.” 

“Of course, I suggested it.” Her smile really is lovely, and he can feel himself relax a little bit. “Thank you, Lucas.” She hugs him and he holds her there just for a second extra because he’s missed his friend, who he wouldn’t dare call that because it would go straight to her supportive ego. 

 

Vendredi 18:45

The fact that Lucas finds himself waiting in a coffee shop on a Friday afternoon waiting for Chloe instead of with his friends is probably the worst thing that could have happened to him this week. She had kept texting him yesterday, so finally he had agreed, saying that he would meet her for coffee, then they could decide to go somewhere else. 

The coffee shop itself though, despite being the backdrop for such an unpleasant meeting, was quite nice. It was small and quaint, and Lucas thinks he’d actually come back in the near future, as long as he doesn’t have to go on an obligated date. He sits at a table in the corner, where he can see the windows and will have time to mentally prepare when he sees her enter. 

What he doesn’t expect is for Chloe to enter, followed by Eliott and Lucille. Nothing could’ve prepared him for that sight, the sight of Chloe and Lucille chatting happily, while Eliott’s eyes don’t stop looking at him. Lucas knows this day couldn’t get any worse.

“Salut, Lucas!” Chloe greets, kissing him on the lips softly. She sits in the chair next to him while Eliott and Lucille sit across from them. Lucas is bitter, he knows, so he takes Chloe’s hand and intertwines their fingers. She gives him a big smile and returns to her conversation with Lucille. He can feel Eliott’s gaze on him, but he doesn’t dare look. 

“Sorry to interrupt ladies, but I’m going to go get some drinks, would like anything?” He stands, scooting behind Chloe’s chair and around to the front of the table. 

“A hot chocolate for me, please.” Lucille answers first, smiling at him genuinely. He hates that she has been so nice for so long. 

“A decaf coffee, please.” Chloe offers him a smile, and just for an added bonus of spite, he kisses her on the cheek. When he looks at Eliott, he can see the jealousy smeared everywhere. Lucas is enjoying making him like this, he’s not going to lie. Eliott was the one who gave him up anyway, and honestly, he has no right to be jealous. 

“I’ll help you grab the drinks, Lucas,” Eliott chimes in and suddenly, Lucas is on edge. He doesn’t want to be alone with Eliott, but it seems he doesn’t have a choice. To think he could have gotten a moment by himself, to extract himself from possibly the worst situation ever, was all a pipe dream. 

“Okay,” Lucas says through gritted teeth and doesn’t bother to wait for Eliott to meet him at the front of the table before walking across the store and getting on the long line for drinks. 

“Hi,” Eliott joins him, standing to his left and looking down, trying to catch Lucas’ eyes. 

“Hi.”

“How are you?” 

“Fine.” 

“Well, I’m great, thanks for asking.” Lucas looks up at him, angry that he could be so casual, when he sees Eliott staring up at the board, seemingly trying to decide what he wants. 

“Are you stalking me? How did you even know I was going to be here?” Lucas needs the answer to this question, because all Eliott’s presence is doing is making a bad situation even worse. 

“No, Lucas, I’m not stalking you. Lucille and I ran into Chloe on the bus and she mentioned she was meeting you here and offered us to join. She and Lucille seem to have hit it off quite well,” Eliott explains, glancing over to the girls who are heavily involved in some topic of conversation. 

“Ah okay. Nice to see you and Lucille are back together.” Lucas looks away, but can see Eliott turn his entire body towards him. 

“Why would you say that? We haven’t been together for years.”

“Then why were you on the bus together?” Lucas asks, before he gets to the front of the line, happy that this conversation will stop for a second. He orders all of the drinks, including one for Eliott (not that he wanted to, the cashier asked Eliott if he wanted anything and of course he wanted something). He moves down to end to wait for the drinks.

“Just so you know, we aren’t together, but we still talk when she comes home for break. I’m single, and it’s nice to see your jealous.” Excuse him? 

“I’m not jealous. What would I be jealous of? I have a lovely girlfriend sitting at the table over there.” 

“Don’t bull shit me or yourself, Lucas. You don’t like her, you know what you like, and she isn’t that.” His tone was laced with a bit of venom, but more so at the fact that he knows that Lucas is pretending. He knows what it’s like for Lucas to be real and he seems aggravated that he has become fake again. If Eliott had stayed and not broken his heart, maybe he wouldn’t have to be fake.

“How about you leave me alone and go back to your life without me,” Lucas seethes and goes to grab the drinks, which are now ready, to bring back over Chloe and Lucille. 

“Living without you is something I don’t ever want to experience again.”

Lucas’ heart nearly stops. He’s still so angry, but he hears the genuineness in his voice, and fuck, does he want to believe him. He has to stop thinking so he can deliver the drinks without completing spilling them. 

“Here you go, love,” he says, superficially sweet, and thanked by Chloe with a kiss, to which he overexaggerates, for the purpose of pissing Eliott off. He can see, by the look in Eliott’s eyes, that he is succeeding. 

“Wow, you know Chloe, you seem very mature for your age,” Lucille says, genuinely impressed by something Chloe must have said while Eliott and him were getting drinks. 

“It’s because I’m dating an older guy,” she replies, wrapping her arms around Lucas’ shoulders. He smiles at her and looks at Eliott, who is drinking his coffee bitterly. As if Lucas was the one who’s jealous. 

Lucille is digging in her bag for her phone, that’s ringing rather obnoxiously. When she fishes out and answers, her facial expressions immediately change to horror as she excuses herself to the restroom. Chloe seems concerned and apologizes, only to excuse herself and follow Lucille. Eliott chugs the rest of his drink and gets up. 

“Come on, we’re leaving.” Honestly, that sounds like a great idea, but he doesn’t want to be alone with Eliott, not yet anyways. 

“I’m good, thanks.” He sounds cold and he doesn’t care. 

“So what, Lucas, you’re going to be fake for the rest of your life? You’re going to sit here and pretend to like a girl you have no interest in?” Eliott stares into his soul and it aggravates the shit out of him. Eliott is getting to him. 

“I like her, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he gets up so he can talk to Eliott face to face. “Why don’t you just leave me the hell alone? Why do you care so much about me? I didn’t matter a year ago, so why don’t you stop pretending?” He gets in Eliott’s space and glares up. He’s done taking this shit. 

That’s when Eliott pushes him towards the door. “Let’s talk outside.” 

They leave the coffee shop and stand just out of view of the windows. “Lucas, I’m not pretending to care, I always have. Every single second I’ve known you, I’ve cared. Please tell me you don’t actually believe that I don’t care about you.” Eliott steps closer and runs a hand through his hair. Lucas wants to cry. His heart is broken, and he wants to heal, but he doesn’t trust the one person who can help.

“You are pretending, Eliott! You dropped me without a second thought. I wasn’t important to you and you’re trying to make yourself feel better!” The tears are starting to come, and the panic is beginning to rise. 

“Every word of that is wrong, Lucas. You’re the only thing that has ever mattered to me, don’t you get that?” His tone is soft and lacking accusation. His hands cup Lucas’ face and he wipes the tears off with his thumbs. 

“Stop trying to fix this, Eliott. You can’t put this one back together. I want to let you back in, but I don’t trust you anymore and I don’t think I ever can.” He looks up and sees the tears forming in Eliott’s eyes. Maybe he finally got the message. 

“Please, please tell me I can do something,” he’s pleading now and Lucas’ heart is breaking. 

Lucas shakes his head somberly. Eliott waits a few moments.

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone, but I just need one last thing.” He takes a hand off Lucas’ cheek and runs it through Lucas’ hair, stopping at the hair at the back of his neck. Lucas feels his head being pulled, and suddenly Eliott’s lips are against his and the taste of tears is caught in between. This is the first kiss in years that have felt like something and it’s killing him. His brain snaps out of it when he realizes that it’s raining and they’re outside, in public. 

Lucas pulls away so fast he almost falls back. When he steadies himself, he sees Chloe, who seems to have left the coffee shop in search of him and Eliott. She’s looking at him with disdain and confusion.

She saw them. 

 

 

Lucas (13) and Eliott (15)  
Lundi 17:00

To Lucas, everything means something. His friendships with people mean the world to him, his relationship with his parents is everything, and that kiss that he had with Eliott a few weeks back was vital to his being. He truly thought that it meant the same to his best friend as it did to him, but it didn’t, apparently, because a few weeks later, Lucas and Eliott were sitting on the living room floor of Eliott’s apartment when the doorbell rings. In walks a very pretty girl, with short, curly brown hair and eyes like Eliott’s who introduces herself as Lucille, Eliott’s girlfriend. His heart shatters and Lucas doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the sound it makes when it does. It’s loud and disastrous, horrifying and detrimental. He doesn’t quite understand why his heart breaks in the manner that it does, because it’s just his best friend, who looks so incredibly happy with this girl, and he should be supportive and loving and accepting of this girl who seems to have won over Eliott’s heart. He realizes then, that it hurts because he thought he had a chance to win Eliott’s heart and, in reality, he doesn’t. The realization hits him so hard, harder than anything has because he recognizes that he’s attracted to his best friend. Everything makes him feel woozy.

He offers a greeting to Lucille, but excuses himself, saying that he doesn’t feel well and wishes to return home. Eliott looks sad and looks like he knows something is wrong but doesn’t want to get into that conversation while Lucille is there. He’s appreciative of that, at least. 

The walk back home is short and he’s glad when he reaches the front door, but he hears his parents fighting as soon as he enters. It’s just an added bonus to his shitty day, and he decides against doing his homework, opting that sleep sounds so much better than anything else. 

 

Lucas (14) and Eliott (16)  
Vendredi 22:22

In totality, Eliott and Lucille dated for just over a year. They broke up and got back together many times over the course of that period, but Lucas has added it up and knows that they time they spent together was longer than he cared to think about. Over that time, he had come to the realization that he likes Eliott. Not that he’s gay, but it’s Eliott. His best friend. His other half, practically. He hasn’t been separated from him since they were little, and he didn’t ever want to be apart from him. Unfortunately, his feelings are unrequited, and he has to live with that, but he can as long as Eliott doesn’t date anyone else.

“You know, Lucille and I have been talking, and I think we may get back together,” Eliott brings up casually one Friday, while they’re drinking in Eliott’s bedroom. They had been broken up for a month at this point and Lucas had felt the best he had in a long time. He would give anything for Eliott to remain single. 

“I don’t think you should,” he says, swigging down some beer.

“Why not?” Eliott questions.  
“I don’t know, you guys have broken up and gotten together so many times, don’t you think it’s better if you guys just ended it?” Lucas ponders, looking to his best friend and hoping they can just switch the topic. He really doesn’t want to talk about Lucille anymore. 

“I kind of feel like she’s the only one for me. Who else is going to like this mess?” He gestures to himself. Oh, boy, that is not the question he should be asking Lucas, especially considering he’s had quite the handful of beers. 

“So many people! So many people would like you!” Lucas exclaims, not knowing where he got his burst of energy, but just accepting it because what he said is incredibly true. 

“Aw, you’re sweet, Lucas. I know you like me, but I need someone who likes me and wants to kiss me,” Eliott admonishes, with his head looking down to the floor. Lucas’ stomach churns, wanting to tell him everything about how he feels, but is scared of the reaction and doesn’t know exactly what to say, so he lets the alcohol speak for him. 

“Would it be so bad if I liked you like that too?” He asks softly, and dear god, he has never seen someone’s head snap up that fast. 

“Lucas, what did you just say?” He gets up out of his chair and walks to where Lucas is sitting on his bed. Lucas gulps and wishes he hadn’t said anything. 

“Nevermind, it’s not important,” he gets up and tries to escape this conversation that he’s not ready to have. He’s not ready to lose his best friend because his dumb brain doesn’t know how to stop liking him. Eliott catches him before he can make it out the bedroom door and holds Lucas against his chest. 

“What did you say, Lulu? Tell me, please,” Eliott pleads gently. Lucas shakes his head. “Why not? You just said something and I want to make sure I heard it right. Please, Lulu.” His eyes are kind and warm, despite being a bluish green color, and Lucas loses himself in them. 

Lucas determines that if he’s going to lose his best friend over this, then he may as well get it over with. He’ll deal with the pain and go back to liking girls, to being normal. 

“Would it be so bad if I liked you the way you wanted too?” It’s softer than it was last time and Eliott just looks at him in awe. There’s so much fondness and love in his expression that Lucas dreams of staying there just like that forever. 

“Are you just saying this because you don’t want me to feel bad or because you actually like me?”

Lucas buries his head in Eliott’s shoulder. “The second one.” 

“Lulu, look at me.” With a shaky breath and butterflies in his stomach, Lucas pulls his head from the place where it was hiding to give Eliott what he wanted. A hand slips into the hair at the nape of his neck and Lucas loves it when his friend plays with his long locks. Eliott’s lips crash into his and he gasps and moans at the same time, making Eliott chuckle against his mouth. Lucas clutches at sweatshirt Eliott is wearing and tugs him closer, because fuck, this is great and good and wonderful and everything he has wanted since that game of truth or date over a year ago and he doesn’t want it to end. 

Eliott pulls away after a minute, with red cheeks and puffy lips and Lucas chases his mouth like it’s the air he needs to breath. He has no shame, not anymore. Soon there’s tongues on tongues and it’s the hottest thing Lucas has probably ever experienced, and he can’t help but moan. The hand in his hair is gripping tighter, not letting Lucas go, and fuck, like he would want to be anywhere else. 

When they finally do pull away mutually, Eliott rests his forehead against Lucas’ and smiles so wide it hurts Lucas’ face. “If you couldn’t tell, I like you like that too.”


	7. In Another Universe

Lucas (14) and Eliott (16)

Samedi 09:19

Soft is the right word to describe it. The windows are open, a soft breeze coming through the window of Eliott’s room. The bed sheets are soft and freshly washed, smelling of vanilla because the fabric softener they use. The blanket is worn and loved, so much, and still soft, despite years of Eliott carrying it around as his literal safety blanket. Eliott’s arms, covered by an oversized sweatshirt, are softly wrapped around his waist, holding him right where he is, pressed against Eliott’s chest. His lips are chapped, while Eliott’s are unbelievably soft and smooth, a nice contrast to his. He is warm and comfortable, knowing he is completely soft for this boy.

Kissing him like this is a new sensation. He knows what it’s like to kiss someone for the sake of kissing or because the other person wants it, but this. This is different, it’s everything. Lucas has never experienced kissing someone he is attracted too, that he likes, and enjoys being around; someone he loves. It fills him up with a feeling that is indescribable, a feeling he hopes will never end. He hopes that infinities are real because to have this for an infinity is unfathomable. How incredible it would be to have an infinity. 

Eliott switches between slow kissing, where his tongue explores gently, mapping out Lucas’ mouth, and desperate kissing, where Lucas truly believes his best friend is trying to eat him because the kisses consume half his face and even though Lucas makes fun of Eliott being a ‘cannibal’, he secretly indulgents in how this boy could even want him. Out of all the kisses they’ve shared, Lucas definitely prefers the smile kisses, ones where they get too caught up in love and happiness and affection and smile so hard that their teeth sometimes end up touching. A little uncomfortable and the noise isn’t pleasant, but Lucas will fight anyone who dares to deny the superiority of smiley kisses. 

“What are you thinking about?” Eliott inquires, their limbs tangled together. Lucas nestles into Eliott’s chest.

“Science,” he answers honestly and Eliott snorts.

“I’ve been kissing the life out of you and you’re thinking about science?” He feigns offense, placing a hand on his chest dramatically. Lucas doesn’t know if he could roll his eyes further back into his head.

“You asked me what I was thinking about and I answered truthfully!” 

“It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear!” 

“What was the answer you wanted to hear then?” Lucas really wanted to hear this. 

“That you were thinking of kissing me again.” This guy. He has Lucas wrapped around his teenage finger.

Another eye roll precedes Lucas leaning up and kissing him genuinely. 

He presses their foreheads together. “Better?” Lucas is positive that if anyone saw him right now they would see stars in his eyes because Eliott is dizzying. 

“I don’t think I could ever get enough kisses from you,” Eliott’s tone is sweet and maddening. He might want more kisses now. 

 

Samedi 10:00

“Do you believe in the infinity?” 

Eliott is playing with Lucas’ hair and is quite surprised at the unexpected question. Where does Lucas come up with his stuff? “I’m not sure if anything could last forever. We all die eventually and it’s inevitable.” He stops himself there. 

Lucas frowns slightly and looks up at his best friend, hoping to meet his gaze. “Well what about parallel universes?”

“Hmm?” 

“Parallel universes! It’s the idea that there are other timelines going on right now, where some things are the same and some things are different.” 

“I don’t think I’d want anything to be different. This is perfect.” 

Lucas’ cheeks warm. “But it doesn’t necessarily have to be something big. In another universe, maybe the curtains are yellow. Or green. Maybe in another universe you kissed me when you were 7 and I cried. Maybe there’s a universe where we’re older and I don’t meet you until then. Or where we have different names or live in different countries. Maybe there’s a me in New York or Bali just waiting to meet you.” They’re looking at each other now and Lucas has never seen Eliott look at him like this. Like he’s everything all at once. 

“What are we doing in the other universes right now?”

Lucas lays there for a moment and thinks. “Laying here together, don’t you think?”

 

Samedi 13:33

“Would you be okay if I held your hand in public?” Eliott asks, playing with Lucas’ slightly smaller hands. The idea was appealing, and not abnormal for them since they did it when they were younger, but something about the idea now unsettles him. 

“Do you think that we could just hold hands in here? Or, like, when we’re alone?” 

Eliott is immediately disappointed. “Why not? You don’t want to tell everyone we’re together?” Woa, woah, woah. They aren’t together. 

“We aren’t together, Eliott. I’m not gay. I just like kissing you.” 

“You know, logically speaking, I’m a boy, and if you like kissing me, you may like boys, Lulu. It’s not a bad thing.” 

The panic begins to rise. “I’m not gay, Eliott!” His outburst is coordinated with his rapid sitting up. He’s not gay. Eliott is just a really good kisser. “Just because I like kissing you doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship with you!” 

Eliott’s face falters, but he recovers quickly. “Yesterday, you said you liked me, were you lying? Because I wasn’t. I like you, Lulu, and I want to be with you. It-”

Lucas is getting frustrated. “I don’t want to be with you because I’m straight! Just because I’m kissing you now doesn’t mean I’d want to kiss you in front of other people.” 

Lucas doesn’t see how much that hurts Eliott, but he can tell something is wrong. “You need to go Lucas.” Eliott gets off his bed and begins to gather Lucas’ stuff from around his bedroom. 

“Eli, no, wait, pl-” 

“Get out, Lucas.” He feels his heart break. They were just so happy, what happened?

“But som-” Lucas can’t get more than that out without Eliott interrupting him again. 

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, I just need some time.” Okay. Even though it makes him sad, he has to respect that. 

Before he goes, broken heart in tow, Eliott runs a hand through his hair, just like he always does. 

Eliott doesn’t talk to him tomorrow. 

 

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)

Dimanche 22:08

To: Yann   
Can you come over? 

From: Yann  
Yeah, everything okay? 

To: Yann  
Need to talk

From: Yann  
You? Talking? W o a h. Something you NEVER do.

To: Yann  
rude

Lucas appreciates Yann and he has a feeling that shit is going to hit the fan tomorrow, so he wants to tell Yann before he has a chance to hear anything. He could have already heard something, if Lucas is being honest with himself, but he wasn’t able to gather the strength to get out of bed this weekend until about an hour ago, when he realized that he smells. A brief shower and scrounging of the kitchen cabinets later, he mozies on back to his room and waits for his best friend to arrive. 

He appreciates that Manon offered to sleep at Emma’s tonight, so Lucas could have the room to himself. One day, he is going to repay her for everything she has done for him. He hopes that day is soon. 

Yann arrives and makes his way back to Lucas’ room, where they sit down beside each other. Lucas doesn’t know where to start, so he begins with inquiring about how much he knows about the new kid, Eliott. Yann doesn’t know much, but is smart enough to put two and two together; to understand that his childhood best friend Eliott is the Eliott who showed up halfway through this school year. Yann explains that he could tell by how Lucas looks at him: with a mixture of love and heartbreak and false hope and everything in between. 

Lucas begins to shake, not a lot, just a little. He calms himself enough to answer the in depth and draining questions about their relationship. He tells Yann he was in love and still is. That he fell for Eliott when he didn’t understand his feelings felt or what pure love was. He didn’t understand himself or the attraction to his best friend. 

He comes out. He shouts the word at Yann, not because he’s angry or scared. He shouts it because he’s been holding it in for so long that he feels like a shaken up soda bottle that someone has finally taken the cap off of. He releases the statement and forces himself not to tear up, hoping that Yann won’t hate him or look at him differently. 

His best friend is everything he needs. He rubs Lucas’ back and hugs him tight, telling him to never worry about holding things in, especially not things like that. Lucas cries and tells him everything under the moon about his love for Eliott. He told him about the parties and the truth or dare games and the stolen kisses and the pure, shattering heartbreak. 

In his mission to tell Yann all about Eliott, he accidentally mentions the period of time in which he thought he had moved on from his childhood best friend. The period of time where he thought he was in love with Yann. This causes Yann to step back a little. He’s more hesitant, but still caring and soothing and helpful to Lucas. 

There’s so much emotion flowing out of him that he doesn’t even recognize the moment where he lets slip that he had a part to do in breaking up Yann and Emma. Yann asks Lucas to repeat what he just said and that’s when the anxiety rises. He apologizes profusely in between explaining what happened during the year that Eliott left and disappeared. The feelings transferred to Yann and Lucas was so heartbroken at Yann being in a relationship that he helped orchestrate the break up. 

He’s fully crying by the time Yann stands up and screams at him. Yann is shouting about how terrible a friend Lucas is, about how he lied and cussed Yann to lose a person he loved. He called Lucas the cause of all his problems, specifically in the romance category. Lucas tries to get in a word, to apologize, but his friend won’t let him. Lucas is in hysterics, trying so hard just to regulate his breathing when Yann tells him the friendship isn’t worth it anymore if Lucas was going to destroy his relationships. Lucas just sits there and listens, wiping his eyes as his friend grits out that he’ll never be forgiven. 

Watching Yann leave after denouncing their friendship sends Lucas into a panic attack. He curls up on his bed and shakes, tears running down his cheeks while his breath is rapid. He doesn’t know how long he’s like that when he falls asleep propped up against the headboard. The pain is dull for few moments and he takes the opportunity to doze off. 

Waking up, the pain and heartbreak and panic are still rooted in his chest. He steals a bottle of vodka from Mika’s secret stash and gets drunk by himself in his room. He sees visions of Eliott kissing someone else and Yann laughing at him in the school courtyard. He cries and cries until his eyes hurt too much to keep open. 

 

Lucas (15) and Yann (15) 

Vendredi 19:00

After they arrive at the pregame, it takes less than an hour for Lucas to get completely wasted. Truthfully, he doesn’t want to be sober. He doesn’t want to think about anything. He takes another swig of his beer and nearly misses his mouth. Suddenly, something is gripping the bottom of his drink. 

“I think you’ve had enough, Lucas,” Yann soothes, taking the bottle from his clumsy hands. He attempts, rather poorly, to retrieve it.

“But, Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann. I’m not drunk enough yet,” he pouts, trying to prove his point.

“Okay, then walk straight over to the fridge without bumping into anything or using the counters to lean on,” Yann challenges. Fucking piece of cake. He turns around, pivoting on his left foot and immediately falls sideways, catching the corner of the counter on his side. He writhes in pain on the ground, where he looks up and sees Yann, concerned and slightly amused. “Come here, you utter disaster.” Yann picks him up and swings Lucas’ arm around his shoulder, so Lucas can lean some weight on him. Lucas, in response, buries his head into the base of Yann’s neck and stays there. 

Yann maneuvers them to an area where Lucas can lay down, and ends up in a separate living room area where the only party goers present are a couple in the back corner deeply invested in the others mouths. Lucas takes the initiative, trying to show Yann that he can still have another drink and be totally fine, and moves himself down to the couch and somehow manages to slip, causing Yann to help him.   
“Jeez, Lucas, how much did you drink?” Yann chuckles.

“Not enough,” Lucas burps. 

“Why the need to get so drunk? Don’t you want to be able to remember?”

“Want to forget.”

“What to do you want to forget?”

“He forgot about me,” Lucas hiccups. 

“Who?” 

“Eliott.” 

Yann has to search in his brain a bit for a face to the name, but eventually only comes up with instances where Lucas has mentioned him. According to those instances, he is Lucas’ childhood best friend. Both of them were attached at the hip, but lately Lucas hadn’t mentioned him. At all. 

“I doubt Eliott could forget about you,” Yann attempts to reassure his drunk friend. 

Lucas adamantly denies the reassurance. “No, n-no he forgot. He left me. I wasn’t important. He threw me away when he f-found something better.” Lucas is starting to cry now and Yann has so many questions. Lucas is making it sound like they were together…?

“What happened, Lulu?” 

“I thought he w-wanted me. He made me think that he’d s-stay. B-but, at that party, h-he was kissing someone else, and he hasn’t talked to m-me since. I knew something was wrong, b-but he said he’d talk to me, but h-he never did,” Lucas sobs into the back of the couch and Yann just stares. He feels horrible that Lucas is telling him about something he might not want to talk about sober. 

“Lulu, I’m sorry that he wants you in his life. I’m sure he misses you, but I think we should talk about this when you’re sober, okay?” Yann rubs Lucas’ arm softly. Lucas nods at Yann’s suggestion and calms himself down.

Eventually, Yann brings Lucas back to his house since his parents are away. Lucas passes out on the couch almost instantly. Yann goes to bed and thinks about everything that happened in the past few hours. He hopes they can talk about it in the morning, when they wake up. 

Except, when they do, Lucas doesn’t seem to remember or decides he doesn’t want to talk about it. Yann waits until his friend is ready to talk to him. He’ll be the friend that Lucas needs. 

 

Lucas (16) and Eliott (18)

Lundi 08:35

The courtyard is full of people staring at him. His friends, his exs, people he doesn’t even know. They’re all staring and laughing. Mocking him because they know. He’d received texts over the weekend about Chloe spreading the fact that he’s gay. His response was just to shut his phone off and shut everyone out, especially after telling Yann everything. 

He pulls his hood up as an attempt to cover his face and moves through the courtyard, forcing himself not to make eye contact with anyone. He makes it halfway before snapping his head up at the sound of laughter. 

There was a group of boys and girls, all first years, surrounding Chloe, who is directing the attention towards him. His heart beats faster and he tries to block out the mean things people are saying. He wishes that he couldn’t hear. 

Opposite the group of first years are his friends and they’re looking at him too. Basile, Imane, Alexia, Yann, and Emma, who looks at him with such anger as she stands close to Yann and Lucas realizes that she knows now. Tears start to pool, but they don’t come until he sees the rest of his friends faces. There’s so much disappointment. He hides the trails running down his cheeks and beelines for the entrance to the school. That’s when he feels something big hit his chest and knock him down. 

“Oh is the little gay boy crying?” Lucas looks up with red eyes and sees a hulking third year standing over him. 

“What’s it to you, asshole?” He quips back and receives a hard kick to the stomach. 

“You have quite the mouth, don’t you? Bet you’d prefer it around m-”

Suddenly, in the midst of his sentence, which Lucas is glad he didn’t have to hear, there is a mess of coppery orange brown hair flailing from behind the third year. It takes him a good moment to realize it’s Manon, who has completely jumped on the third year’s back and was pulling at his throat. 

“The fuck!” The third year yells as he shakes Manon off, causing her to fall to the floor beside Lucas. “Aw gay boy, you have someone here to defend you, that’s cute. Looks like I have two practice punching bags now. 

Lucas is just about to rush up at the guy, when two heads of blonde hair jump in the way. 

“Wow, asshole, you’re really gonna beat up a girl?” Daphne asks sarcastically. “Don’t be that guy.” 

“No girl is gonna wanna go out with you if they see you beating on one. Or is that what you want?” Arthur moves to get in the guy’s face. “Maybe you don’t even like girls anyway.” 

The guy latches on to Arthur’s collar and hoists him up to slam him against the window. “What did you just say, you little shit?” 

“Let him go!” Daphne’s leg finds its way between the guy’s legs and nails him right in the balls, causing him to drop Arthur and crumble to the ground. 

Daphne helps Manon up first, who then in turn hoists Lucas back up. All four of them ignore the stares of their classmates in the courtyard and fumble off to a place where they have a bit more privacy to talk. 

They reach an empty classroom and Arthur closes the door behind them while Lucas checks to see if Manon is okay. “Are you alright?” Lucas wonders, quickly looking over his friend to make sure she doesn’t have any bruises. The guilt would eat him alive if that asshole had hurt her because of him. Sometimes he wishes his friends would just let him take what he deserves. 

“I’m fine, Lucas. Are you okay? You’re the one who got a hit to the stomach. Are you bruised?” She is genuinely worried and he feels his heart warm a little bit. 

Honestly, he hasn’t even taken a look at his stomach, but he gently applies pressure to his abdomen and finds that there’s no pain. 

“Nope, no bruise,” Lucas reassures his friend who is eyeing him with concern, but let’s it go and he appreciates it. He knows she’s gonna do a mom check at the apartment tonight and he has to live with it. He can’t exactly avoid her. Not that he wants to, really. She’s always been by his side since...well, since Eliott left. Since he hurt himself to feel something, anything. 

Lucas turns to Daphne and envelopes her in a hug, to which she accepts greatly. “Thank you so much Daphy. You were awesome.” He tightens his arms around her, he needs her to know how much what she did meant to him, especially since he didn’t expect her to do that for him. 

“Of course, Lucas. We’re friends, right?” She pulls away and looks at him with wide, caring eyes. “That’s what friends do, right?” 

He returns her stare and smiles for the first time in days. “Yeah, that’s what friends do.” 

Daphy beams and wraps him in another hug and kisses him on the cheek. “I have to run to class, but message me later Lucas. Okay?” She asks and he can’t possibly say no. 

“I’ll message you later, Daphy, I promise,” he answers, putting his hand over his heart. 

“When do I get my hug of gratitude?” Lucas looks over and sees Arthur, who’s pouting just the slightest bit. 

Lucas rolls his eyes and opens his arms. “Come here.” Arthur’s face lights up with a grin that dominates the rest of his facial features. He hugs Lucas far tighter than Lucas was hugging him. 

“I’m glad you’re okay, Lucas. If that jerk comes back, he’s got more than one person to go through before he gets to you.”   
God, Lucas was so lucky to have these friends with him, but he couldn’t help but think of how Yann looked at him this morning. He would’ve expected Yann to come to his rescue not Arthur, but, nevertheless, he’s still grateful. At least he still has a few people on his side. 

“Thanks, dude. Can we talk later?” Lucas says softly, hoping Manon won’t hear. 

“Sure, just don’t message me too late, alright?” Arthur responds. Lucas nods and Arthur leaves to head to his first class. 

Then, there was just Lucas and Manon standing there alone. He doesn’t waste a single second. He lurches forward, scooping her up in his arms. “Thank you so so much. You could’ve gotten really hurt.” 

“Yeah and?” She says nonchalantly, causing Lucas to chuckle. 

“Please, next time, let me take what I deserve, okay?” 

Manon escapes his grasp and looks at him, stunned. “Lucas, you think you deserved that? No one ever deserves that!” He should have known she was gonna say that, but honestly, he doesn’t want to have this conversation here, so he switches the topic. 

“Alright, fine. Can we discuss this back at home?” He shifts on his feet. 

“Okay, but you can’t escape him, Lucas Lallemant. I’m everywhere.” She waves her arms around, looking like an octopus. Lucas snorts. 

“Not like I could escape you if I tried. We live in the same room.” 

“Damn straight.” She smiles at him and salutes before leaving the room and Lucas. 

Hopefully, he can get through the rest of the day without anymore incidents. 

 

Lundi 17:00 

Classes went by slow and it’s an understatement to say that Lucas is happy when he can finally gather his stuff and head home. He’s tired off all the people staring at him and laughing and making sexual jokes at him. He’s ready to hole himself up in his room and not come out. He may just hide under the blankets and ignore any attempt at social interaction. Who could blame him?

He’s shoving his unnecessary crap in his locker, when a large hand slams the locker closed. Lucas is about to tell the person to shove off, when he sees who it is. He swallows hard at the sight of the third year from this morning and two of his friends. They loom over Lucas and he has to admit that now he’s actually scared.

“Hey fag. Doesn’t look like you have any friends to protect you now.” He smiles maliciously, like he intends to take full advantage of the fact that the school was now empty. Lucas just ignores him and locks his locker up. He goes to leave when a hard shove forces him to the ground. He braces the fall with his arms, so that his head wouldn’t hit the tile floor. He’s on all fours, making his way to get back up when two feet puncture his sides. He swallows a yelp and lands on the floor, face first. 

“How does it feel, fag? Getting what you deserve?” Two hands pick him up by the collar and slam his back against the lockers. He can feel the metal digging into his back and the friends of the third year collide with his abdomen. The wind is getting knocked out of him, he can’t breathe. Punch after painful punch, Lucas realizes they have no intention on stopping soon.

“Come on guys, hurt him where no one can see,” the guy says, voice laced with venom. The punches switch to his sides and the pain becomes too much. He finally makes noise, a small yelp passing through his lips, which seems to give the bullies more ammunition. 

Within a few seconds, he hits the ground and nearly screams. Three feet are now impaling his torso with force and he scrunches up into a fetal position to protect himself. 

After what feels like an infinity, the third years have gotten their fill. Right before they leave, one of them whispers in his year. 

“No one’s gonna want to be around your gay ass ever again.” 

Lucas sits in that for 20 minutes after they leave. He stops crying because his head is throbbing and he has to figure out a way to make it home. The last thing he wants is for people to see him like this. 

He uses the last bit of energy he has left and hoists himself to his feet. His stomach is throbbing and he doesn’t want to look at the damage yet. It’ll only prevent him from getting to the apartment. 

The first step he makes is steady. He breathes and it stings, but he tells himself he can make it. On the second step, he wobbles. He doesn’t make the third step. He smashes down to floor, screaming when his torso makes contact with the tile. He wails loudly, not caring who hears him because there isn’t anyone left in the school. He can’t move anymore, so he lays still, hoping the pain will dissipate. He closes his eyes and lets the tears stream. 

He’s so tired. He’s alone. Maybe if he sleeps a bit he’ll have the strength to make his way home. So he sleeps. 

His dreams are full of happy things and then turn sad. All his friends laughing with him are now laughing at him. The anxiety bubbles in the chest of dream Lucas, who is now reliving his encounter with the third years. 

He dreams of someone picking him up off the cold floor. 

Lucas (14) and Eliott (16)

 

Marti 15:09

To: Eliott (15:09)  
The funniest thing happened in class today

To: Eliott (15:50)  
Can I tell you about it? 

To: Eliott (23:23)  
Can I come over?   
My parents are fighting again

 

Mercredi 04:43

To: Eliott (04:43)  
Are you okay? 

To: Eliott (19:39)  
Please just let me know if you’re okay

Jeudi (09:30) 

To: Eliott (09:30)  
Class is boring, can we talk? 

To: Eliott (18:18)   
I know you’re upset with me, but my mom is freaking out  
She’s throwing things and screaming  
My dad left yesterday night and he hasn’t come back

To: Eliott (18:46)  
Please Eliott, please talk to me. Please let me come over.   
You don’t even have to talk to me  
I’m just really scared

To: Eliott (23:50)   
I miss you  
please

 

Vendredi (00:59)

 

To: Eliott (00:59)  
You promised you’d be there for me  
Please tell me you still are

To: Eliott (02:11)  
You promised

 

Vendredi 17:40

Lucas doesn’t go to school today. He stays home, wrapped in his warm blankets with his door locked. His dad left days ago and hasn’t returned. His living room is a mess, just like his bedroom, but it wasn’t a happy mess. Things were thrown haphazardly while his mother preaches and screams and wails. He doesn’t understand what’s happening, but he has no where else to go, so he stays in his room. 

Even though there’s noise downstairs, which Lucas assumes is his mother destroying more of their house, all he can think about is Eliott. 

Last weekend was the best weekend he’s ever had, but it ended abruptly. Eliott kicked him out and said he’d talk to him later. He never did though. Eliott had ignored all of his messages pleading for help because he was scared and alone and Eliott was the only one he could turn to. Now it seems like Eliott didn’t want him in his life at all. He cries at the thought of losing his best friend, his world. The ache is deep in his chest as he sobs silently, scared for someone to hear even though there’s no one around. He has to talk to his best friend, he has to find out what’s wrong. 

He picks up his phone to message Eliott again, even though he hasn’t answered the last several times, Lucas hopes he might answer this time. A text comes through before he has the opportunity to pull up his conversation with Eliott.

From: Yann (17:56)  
Party at Imane’s tonight, her brother’s hosting

To: Yann (17:56)  
Not interested, thanks though  
You have a good time with the guys

From: Yann (17:57)  
Are you sure?   
Eliott’s there  
Check Imane’s snap

Lucas has never pulled up Snapchat so quickly before. It doesn’t load fast enough for Lucas’ liking, but it finally does, he clicks on Imane’s story. There Eliott is in all his glory, smiling like the sun and Lucas almost cries. He misses his best friend so much, but it doesn’t seem like his best friend misses him at all. He looks…happy. 

Everything inside his chest breaks and the tears come. His best friend doesn’t miss him. Lucas probably looks like a fool texting him so much. He feels like an idiot. He doesn’t know what he did wrong. Eliott promised that he’d always be there for him through thick and thin. Lucas had to know why this was happening, why his best friend didn’t want him anymore. 

To: Yann (18:09)  
Meet you there in an hour

 

Vendredi 19:20

Lucas has to text Imane to get her address before he can storm in an confront his best friend about what was going on. He cries everything out before he leaves his house and splashes some water on his face to make himself look like a human again. He can’t even pretend that his eyes don’t show how much he’s cried. That’s not even worth a bother. 

He arrives at Imane’s much sooner that he expects and sees his friends standing outside. They’re talking animatedly and when Arthur sees Lucas he bounces up and down and waves him over. Lucas joins the circle and is immediately enveloped by Yann’s knowing gaze. Lucas avoids it at all costs and recommends that they all go join the party. 

The guys agree and enter the house as a foursome, taking in the back image of people dancing to loud music that one can almost see. Lucas has been to enough parties with the guys where he knows that they head for drinks first, to get a slight buzz of course, and then head to the dance floor where they put their hookup plans, that they made over a couple of beers, into action. 

When the boys follow his predictions exactly, he knows he’s got them entirely figured out. He knows his friends too well, at this point. The opposite can be said for his best friend, though. All of them are buzzed and having fun as they enter the main area of the house where almost everyone is. Couples are dancing and grinding and making out and Lucas really wishes he didn’t have to look at it. He wants to be kissing Eliott again and holed up in his best friend’s bedroom, in their own little bubble. He really doesn’t want to be here. 

Searching the crowd for Eliott serves no purpose because the house is packed. The boys have a hard time moving through the crowd as they find an area to dance together. Basile and Arthur are scoping the girls around them for ones to hookup with and Lucas immediately checks out of that conversation. Instead, he continues swaying his small frame to the beat of the thumping music as he thinks of what he’d say to Eliott if he sees him here. He’s debating whether or not it’s a good idea to talk to him while he’s a little drunk, but, ultimately, he doesn’t care. He’s going to call Eliott out on his bullshit. Lucas really hopes that he doesn’t start crying when it happens. 

In the midst of his thoughts running rampant, Lucas gets separated from his friends and ends up searching for way back to them. He runs into a girl, Sarah, by accident and has to excuse himself while she’s flirting with him. Awkward. 

He finally sees his friends across the room. Well, only Basile and Arthur, who are hunched together, probably strategizing on how to hookup with older girls. Yann has disappeared to god knows where, and Lucas couldn’t really be bothered as he sees a tall head of dark brown hair enter a room down the hall. He pushes through the crowd towards the slightly open door of what appears to be a bedroom. Lucas heart falters just slightly, but he continues going until he reaches the door. He doesn’t dare open it to reveal what’s inside, but rather he positions himself at the opening. He immediately regrets his decision.

Inside is his best friend. His best friend, that had kissed him, told him declarations of love, been intimate with him, was now actively kissing someone else. He was chasing another boy’s mouth like he had chased Lucas’ last weekend. His hands were holding the other boy steady, in place, close to his body. Lucas covers his mouth, so no one can hear his breathing. The tears are pooling, his body is shaking as he watches the person he thought he could have have someone else. Eliott wasn’t his and he never would be. To Eliott, he was just someone he could fuck. Someone he could get off with. Perhaps he’d never meant anything at all. 

Lucas leaves when he sees them get comfortable on the bed, not being able to watch anymore. He’s crying and swimming through the masses of people, making sure to avoid anyone and everyone he knows. He feels like he can’t breathe. His chest is thumping and he’s still shaking and when he makes it outside and far enough away from the house, he collapses on the sidewalk. 

He’d meant nothing. Lucas was nothing. He’d been disposed of. Lucas thinks that if last weekend hadn’t happened maybe this would be easier. He’d begun to figure that Eliott would leave him and make cooler friends, older friends, but not like this. Not after everything they’d went through last weekend. 

Lucas hoists himself off the ground and walks aimlessly down the streets. He doesn’t turn, but just continues straight, not bothering to look where he’s going. His sadness evolves into anger after wandering for several minutes. He feels it bubbling in his bones, in his heart, in his being. Eliott let him believe he meant something. He let Lucas believe they could be happy, only to tear it away. To break his heart. To stomp on it with two feet. The best thing is that Eliott doesn’t know that Lucas saw him shove his tongue down another guy’s throat. Lucas tries not to imagine Eliott with someone else, but the image of him laying in bed with someone else makes his stomach lurch and his heart drop.

The street he’s walking down is lined with a fence. By the light of the streetlamps, he can see it’s a dark green color, slightly rusted, but decently well kept. He notices these as he’s facing it and holding his hand, which is bleeding from the knuckles. The fence didn’t deserve Lucas anger, but he had nowhere else to put it. Despite it bleeding, he keeps punching and punching it until the pain in his heart is less than the throbbing in his hand. The tears don’t stop and he inches down to the ground, leaning up against the fence. 

Unable to count the minutes that are going by, Lucas just sits there. He sits for who knows how long. Time seems slow and fast and everything in between. He just sits there. 

A silhouette appears from the direction in which he came and as the face gets closer, he recognizes it as one from a girl in his year. He thinks her name is Manon. She leans down at his side once she reaches him. 

“Are you alright, Lucas?” Her features are soft under the pale light of the street lamps. He thinks she looks genuine. He nods and she doesn’t take that answer when she notices his hand. “What happened to your hand?” She takes it in hers and looks down at it with severe concern. “We need to get you to a doctor, or the hospital.”

He shakes his head rapidly, despite the headache that’s beginning to develop. He knows he can’t afford to go into hospital, not with his mom being in the state that she is and with his dad having left them to their own devices. “Please, I can’t go to the hospital, or a doctor. I promise, I’m fine.” He pushes her away and tries to avoid her gaze and he stands up and clutches his hand that pulsates after being used to stabilize himself. 

“Lucas, that hand needs to get looked at. You could get an infection.” She’s worried and it shows. Lucas appreciates it, but he doesn’t even know her that well. She can’t care about him very much. She should just leave him like Eliott did. 

“I’m fine, Manon. I’ll take care of it at home,” he insists, hoping she’ll take it and leave him alone. 

“Okay, if that’s want you want.” He breathes a sigh of relief, knowing that he’ll be alone again soon, but what comes out of Manon’s mouth surprises him slightly. “If you don’t want that, my apartment is just a few blocks away. I don’t know where you live, but if you want to spend the night at my place, my roommates are out. Plus, it may save you a trip home this late.” She smiles gently at him. 

He weighs his options and ultimately decides that it may be best just to spend the night outside of his house. He needs a place to deal with himself first before going back to handle the situation at home. He nods at her. “Okay, but only if you don’t mind.” 

Manon smiles wide and Lucas smiles back. “I don’t mind at all, that’s why I offered.” She takes off her dainty scarf and offers it to Lucas. “Here, wrap your hand in this to clot the blood. We’ll take care of your hand when we get to my apartment.” 

“I don’t want to ruin your scarf,” he says genuinely. Her hands then take the scare and wrap Lucas’ still bleeding hand in it and ties it.

“I can always wash it. It’s a pretty old scarf anyway, now come on.” Manon begins walking and Lucas follows swiftly behind her. It doesn’t take long before they arrive at her apartment. 

They work together to bandage his hand and end up staying up for hours after talking about lots of things. He doesn’t expect to start crying while talking to someone he’s having a real conversation with for the first times. Manon envelopes Lucas with her small arms and somehow they end up in her room, in her bed, holding each other. He realizes this is exactly what he needs and lets all the emotions out. He sobs and asks her how to mend a broken heart that he knows can’t ever be fixed and she squeezes him tighter while her small voice fills the silence between them.   
“I don’t have an answer, but I’ll be here while you figure one out.”

Samedi (01:01)

From: Unknown Number  
Hi Lucas, it’s Eliott. I’ve had time to think and it might be best right now if we take a break from each other? I’m sorry it took me so long to talk to you. We just aren’t a good fit romantically and I’m still your best friend, but I need some time away from you. It’ll be better for both of us, I promise.


	8. Grumpy Cat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I.........am.........alive?   
> Sorry this took so long mecs, but here it is and the next chapter will come out sooner rather than later  
> Also I am not responsible for the idiot boy that is Lucas

Lundi 20:54

The first time Lucas awakens, he isn’t fully awake. He regains consciousness but is unable to actively do anything. He’s in this weird state between awake and asleep.

He thinks he hears people talking. Someone is frantic, a girl it sounds like, and there’s a deeper voice trying to calm her down. He can’t make out words, his ears are fuzzy, but he just listens to the tones of voices and doesn’t quite understand what the girl could be so frantic about.

While he contemplates gently, he notices the throbbing in his head and stomach, but the motivation to get something to stop it is nonexistent.

 

Lundi 21:47

Lucas actually opens his eyes the second time he breaks from sleep. Well, it isn’t really opening his eyes, it’s more like squinting because there are so many lights everywhere. All he sees is beige wall, ceiling, probably, considering the way he’s lying. The school ceilings aren’t this color, though, Lucas ponders. Also, when did the tile floor get this comfortable? Whatever he was laying on was warm and squishy and just a tad bit itchy. He didn’t mind it much, it was actually kind of nice.

He hears the faint sounds of people talking in another room. He hears a couple of female voices and a couple of male voices, but he can’t distinguish how many. His head throbs too much to do that, plus, his effort needs to be used on curbing the pain in his torso.

Lifting his hand towards the epicenter of the pain, Lucas moves his fingers softly over the skin of his stomach. He doesn’t even apply any pressure and he can feel the bruises beneath his fingers. No one could pay him enough money to think about how much pain he’ll be in when he tries to sit up. Or use the bathroom. Fuck, no one is allowed to give him anything to drink ever. 

His attention is called back to the voices in the kitchen when the volume escalates.

“We should take him to a hospital!” insists a female voice that sounds a bit like Daphne.

“He doesn’t have any money to pay for the bills, he can barely even afford rent,” says another female voice, most likely Manon.

“I can take care of him, he’s safe with me.” Now, Lucas really thinks that that voice sounds like Eliott, but he must be dreaming. This whole thing is a hallucination, he’s convinces himself. This conversation has to be fake, otherwise why would Eliott be here?

There seems to be a bit of a disagreement on whether to take someone to the hospital, probably himself, considering the state of the bruises on his stomach and the pain in his head, but the debate comes to an end when a fourth voice interjects.

“Guys, he’s safe with Eliott. I trust him, plus we can come check on Lulu after school and there’s no one to tell us no,” a voice Lucas determines to be Arthur states. It takes a few moments for the words to have meaning, but he realizes that he’s going to be stuck alone with Eliott and that can’t happen. He hates the idea so much that musters up what little energy he has and hoists himself off the couch, trying to avoid flexing the muscles in his stomach too much.

His eyes are still sensitive to the light, so he navigates the unfamiliar room with minimal sight and carefully steps around the coffee table, only to completely knock into the side table. The noise is enough to startle whoever is in the kitchen because, soon enough, he hears several footsteps make their way to his location.

“He’s up!” Daphne shouts and she rushes to him.

“WHY ARE YOU STANDING UP LUCAS?!” Manon moms.

“Everyone chill out! What’s wrong Lulu?” Arthur asks, concern lacing his voice.

“N-need to g-get out,” is all that he can muster before nearly collapsing to the floor. Standing is a lot harder than he thought. Damn.

Suddenly, there’s hands underneath his arms, holding him up and guiding him back towards the couch.

“You need to rest Lucas,” Manon demands. Once the group lays him back down, despite his half attempt at convincing them he’s strong enough to go back to the apartment, Manon sits on the floor beside the side of the couch where Lucas’ head is resting. Arthur and Daphne plop themselves on the couch opposite him. There are footsteps coming towards them from the kitchen and Lucas turns to see Eliott carrying a glass of water and a small bowl. He sets them down on the table and Lucas notices for the first time that Eliott’s features are enveloped in worry and stress and sadness and honestly, Lucas has no idea why. Eliott has no right being sad over this. No fucking right.

“How are you feeling, Lulu?” Eliott offers, voice gentle and quiet. He’s handling Lucas with kid gloves and it makes his blood boil, but he doesn’t have the energy right now to tell him off.

“Hpmh,” is the only thing that Lucas can manage and it’s enough, apparently, to convey he’s still mad at Eliott, which only causes Eliott to be more upset. Lucas can tell he’s upset, and Lucas hates that he can, but to anyone else, Eliott looks normal. Like a regular person concerned about someone who is laying on their couch and probably bleeding all over the material. Lucas knows that Eliott wouldn’t care about that though.

“Are you thirsty? Or hungry? I have some soup here if you are,” an endearing smile spreads across Eliott’s face and Lucas would deny his offer, but his throat is dry and he feels like he’s going to die if he doesn’t drink water right now.

“I’m thirsty,” Lucas informs the group harshly. “Give me the water,” he demands with a pout.

Eliott is surprised, Lucas thinks, by the tone he uses. He must’ve thought Lucas was going to be sweet while he was feeling like he had been shoved down a garbage disposal. Fuck that. Lucas is still, if not more, pissed than he was before and he wasn’t about to be sweet with Eliott.

Lucas is handed the water and gulps it down in approximately seven seconds flat, demanding more by shoving the glass in Eliott’s hands and declaring it empty. Eliott is taken aback and leaves Lucas’ side to fill the glass once more. As soon as he is far enough from ear shot, he receives a glare from Manon and an invisible scold from Arthur.

“Lucas, stop being so mean Eliott!” Daphne whisper shouts.

“Yeah, Lulu, I know you’re hurt, but Eliott is the one that found you after you got attacked and carried you back here. Without him, you probably would’ve either been sent to the hospital or not found until tomorrow morning,” Arthur explains. Wait, so Eliott found him? And carried him back here? Here must be Eliott’s apartment then, Lucas determines. Why would he do that? To take pity on him, maybe? Perhaps, but that seems a little out of character for Eliott. He never did things out of pity or at least he never used to.

The group scolds him for a few more minutes until he agrees to be a bit nicer to Eliott, considering he did help him. Eliott enters the room and hands Lucas a bigger glass than the one he drank from before, full to the brim with water. Lucas looks up to thank him and notices that his eyes are a little red and puffy and it takes him a second to realize how long it took Eliott to get him a new glass of water. It took over five minutes, when the kitchen was less than 30 seconds away. Lucas doesn’t know what happened, but Eliott looks upset and his stomach churns, catching him by surprise.

Lucas can be nice to Eliott, he thinks. Not because he’s forgiven him, but because he carried Lucas back here. There’s also soup on the table and Lucas thinks he can be nice in exchange for the soup that he wants in his stomach. Sometimes, you have to be nice if it means you get soup.

 

Marti 04:22

Lucas has been awake for hours. The pain in his abdomen is pounding and he doesn’t think any amount of store-bought Ibuprofen is going to help it. A few minutes after waking up, he notices Eliott sitting in the chair opposite the couch Lucas is laying on. He appears peacefully asleep, so Lucas doesn’t bother him. Just because he isn’t sleeping doesn’t mean he has to make Eliott suffer the same fate.

 

Marti 05:01

In the end, a nightmare seems to startle Eliott out of sleep. Lucas, who may as well be a mannequin, tugs his eyes over to Eliott’s heaving chest and rugged breaths. Lucas adjusts his head to get a full look and the first thing he can see are his eyes. They’re still a mix of blue and green now surrounded by heavy circles of dark purple and gray. He looks tired. Man, he can relate to that.

“I hope I didn’t wake you,” Eliott says, the concern for Lucas’ well being obviously the top priority.

Lucas can only muster a whisper. “It’s okay, I’ve been awake for a while now.” Since there wasn’t a clock around and he doesn’t know where his phone is, he can only do a rough assumption of the amount of time that has passed. He doubts that anyone would expect for him to be specific right now anyway.

“Can I get you anything?” Eliott questions gently.

Lucas shakes his head, not needing Eliott to do anything more for him. “No thank you. I’m going to try and go back to sleep.”

Eliott nods. “That sounds like a good idea.”

 

Marti 05:59

They end up watching something on tv. Neither of them can fall asleep, so they find themselves sitting a comfortable distance from each other on the couch. The tv is the only thing projecting light in the apartment and Lucas finds that he enjoys it like this. Of course the sun will rise soon, but for now the world is dark and the sound of cartoon cops busting down a criminal’s door gives him comfort.

He’ll take it.

 

Marti 07:47

Lucas falls asleep at some point. He registers that he made it halfway through episode eight, but he doesn’t remember exactly. He does register that his body is at an angle and there is something warm wrapped around his waist. And he doesn’t remember his pillow being this hard.

His grogginess is punched out of him when his vision focuses and lands on Eliott, who has become his pillow and blanket simultaneously. His arm was snaked around Lucas, holding him close and his breathing was no longer labored but steady and slow.

Thoughts about whether he should move or not race in his mind, except his body can’t keep up. His stomach aches and his head is pounding and sleep is the only viable option he can rationally deduce so he snuggles into Eliott’s chest again, not bothering to move.

He’ll go back to hating Eliott when he wakes up.

 

Marti 08:10

He’s half asleep when his head moves to something softer.

Weird.

 

Marti 11:34

There’s a note on the coffee table when Lucas wakes up alone. 

Went to class

Mika will be over around 13 to help you if you need

Food in fridge (though I can’t promise it’s any good)

Arthur and Manon are coming over later

Hope you slept well and I’ll see you around 15:30

Eliott~

 

It might seem ridiculous, but that was a lot of information to process. Lucas focused on the fact that Mika was coming over in about an hour and a half. Lucas wouldn’t mind a little company, even if it’s Mika. Lucas sleeps until then.

 

Marti 14:14

Lucas ends up having to ask Mika to be quieter when he begins shouting at the video games they’re playing. Lucas is handling about one game every 20 minutes, which is good, he thinks. He’d give himself a pat on the back, but everything still aches.

A little while ago, he’d eaten and taken some ibuprofen, which had slowly reduced the throbbing. Mika had gotten him some ice and a hot water bag, allowing Lucas to alternate between hot and cold. He continues that for an hour and drinks a couple of cups of tea before Eliott walks in the door.

Lucas squirms, stomach queasy. Eliott looks like hell, probably because he’s been taking care of Lucas. Except he never asked Eliott to take care of him. He wouldn’t have. He may have asked him if they had remained best friends. But that hadn’t happened, had it? The anger is bubbling, as Lucas thinks about what could have been, what they could’ve had. 

You can still have it. You’ll just have to work harder. 

Lucas never thought he’d be rolling his eyes at his own conscience, but here he is. He’s bruised and broken, lying on his former best friend’s couch, trying to stifle the thoughts he wishes he could entertain. This year had not turned out the way he expected. 

He avoids Eliott’s eyes, throwing his arms around his stomach as a barrier between them. He means it as a way to keep them seperate, as a gesture to keep Eliott away, but he winces. The bruises on his stomach are, apparently, still prominent and painful and the reaction causes concern to erupt in Eliott’s eyes. Somehow, he looks like he’s aged several years over the past 24 hours that Lucas can remember seeing him. He really shouldn’t care that he’s causing that concern, that sadness, but Eliott doesn’t have a right to feel responsible.

Mika sits there with him for a few more minutes, probably because he can see the tension in Lucas’ face, but eventually, he has to leave for work. 

“Goodbye kitten, text me if you need anything,” he says, leaning down to kiss Lucas’ forehead. Lucas is granted a slap from Mika when he gags loudly. “Even in this state, you’re an ass.” 

“Always,” Lucas throws a shit-eating grin in his direction. 

“Play nice, kitten,” Mika exits with a wink, leaving Lucas twitching. 

Eliott looks nervous in his own apartment, as he stands, not knowing what he should do next. “Can I, uh, get you anything?” 

Lucas welcomes the agitation that has settled in his chest. “Not unless you know someone who can magically heal my bruises or the pain.” He definitely doesn’t regret his bitter tone when he sees Eliott grow upset. No, definitely not. Not even a little. 

“I’m sorry I can’t do that for you, but could I ate least get you some food or painkillers?” 

“I took ibuprofen recently.” Lucas is curt, but Eliott keeps trying. 

“What about food? I could make soup or pasta or we could order takeaway?” 

Lucas hates that he seriously considers ordering takeaway before the door slams open. 

“WE BROUGHT PIZZA!” Arthur yells loudly, entering the room with pizazz. The cardboard box in his hands smells heavenly and Lucas’ stomach seems to agree, growling loud enough that the downstairs neighbors can probably hear. 

Behind Arthur is Manon, carrying several bottled drinks, including colas and ginger ale. She smiles down at him, seemingly pleased that he’s awake and engaged. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like I’ve been hit by a tram, run over by another one and laying underneath one parked at a station stop,” he replies dramatically. 

Manon doesn’t attempt to hide her fondness as she pulls a page out of the Lallemant handbook, rolling her eyes so far back into her head he’s not sure she’ll be able to roll them back. 

“That’s my thing.” 

“You don’t own eye rolling, Lucas,” Manon insists. 

“Yes I do, the official ownership of eye rolling is on my wall,” Lucas nods, attempting to convince her with the speed at which he nods. 

“Yeah, okay. I totally believe you.” 

“You should believe me, I’m the most believable.” 

“You’re the most idiotic,” Arthur interrupts, “but glad to see you’re feeling better.” He chucks a slice of pizza onto Lucas’ lap. “Now eat before you get grumpy.” 

“I am not grumpy,” Lucas pouts. 

“There’s the grumpster,” Manon teases. 

“Grumpy McGrumpy-face,” Arthur interjects. 

“Grumpy Cat?” Manon poses it as a question, as if to incite more name brainstorming. 

“Grumpy Pants?” Arthur returns. 

“Grump-” Manon doesn’t get to finish before Lucas jumps in. 

“Alright, alright. I get it! I might sometimes get a little grumpy, now can we move on?”

“Okay Grumpy McGrumpy-face,” Arthur laughs as he receives a glare from Lucas. 

Over the course of three slices, Lucas has learned from Arthur and Manon that the people responsible for his attack were found by the administration and expelled for the brutality of the incident. Lucas is left with bruises, but at least the assholes who caused them are no longer roaming the halls of the school. The teachers and students also have banded together to create a support group for LGBT members of the school so that no one has to feel alone and that makes Lucas’s heart swell just a little bit. It’s nice that something good came out of this, even if he has to live with the scars. 

Throughout the course of the evening, Lucas has noticed that Eliott has been decidedly quiet, not even attempting to involved himself in the conversation once. It might have been due to the evil eye Lucas had been throwing him for the past several hours, but Lucas refuses to feel bad for anything. He’s too busy enjoying his time with his friends to feel bad about anything. 

When there’s a break in the conversation, Eliott excuses himself to the restroom. Arthur and Manon use that time to their advantage to probe. 

“How’s it going with Eliott?” Manon whispers. 

“Not going to answer that,” Lucas responds, because the last thing he wants to talk about is Eliott.

“Hate to burst your grumpy little bubble but that technically is answering it,” Arthur joins in. 

“Who asked you?” Lucas says, snarky tone in tow. 

“No one, but my mom always told me my opinions are invaluable,” Arthur grins cheekily. 

“Hate to break it to you, but that’s complete bullshit.” 

“I’m going to tell my mom on you unless you be nice,” Arthur waves a pizza crust at Lucas as if he’s a parent scolding his young child. Lucas sticks his tongue out in response. Arthur just shakes his head. “Immature.” 

“So,” Manon continues pointedly, “Eliott?” 

“No.” 

“Come on, Lucas. You have to at least admit that is was nice of him to bring you to his house and take care of you.” 

“I didn’t ask him to do that, Arthur.” 

“You couldn’t ask anyone to do anything, Lucas. You were comatose.” Manon reminds. 

“Just because he chose to help doesn’t mean I have to be nice.” Lucas was sticking to his ground. 

“You’re being unreasonable Lucas. He fucking picked you up off the ground and dragged you back here. He stayed up for hours worrying about you.” Arthur insists. 

“Please tell me you’ve at least said thank you to him.” Manon pleads. Lucas has to think and the pause is enough of an answer for Manon, who looks at him with disappointed eyes. “Lucas. Come on.” 

“I didn’t ask him to, Manon! I don’t owe him anything.” 

“What is your fucking problem, Lu?” Arthur asks, agitated.

“What’s my problem? My problem is that he stops talking to me with no explanation, while my family is falling apart, while I need him the most. He was my best friend and he left me right before my dad did. I suffered through my mom falling apart because of the divorce. I fell apart because I was a kid trying to take care of a mentally ill parent with no help. I was a kid watching as my mom was taken to a facility by my dad and his new girlfriend while I was left to fend for myself. All of that happened without him because he decided that he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He decided that I wasn’t worth it.” 

He is out of breath and wheezing as his friend’s eyes fall downcast. 

“It’s not fair that I’m expected to thank him when he decided to help without my asking. He’s fucking crazy if he thinks this is going to fix anything.” 

Lucas expected to continue his rant, his expulsion of pent up anger about his former best friend the next few moments aren’t what he expects. He expects for the silence to remain as he yells about his grief. What he gets is Eliott walking by, eyes puffy and red as he crosses the one-sided war zone of the living room. Lucas registers the sound of the door to the apartment closing and he looks to Manon and Arthur, who are just as, if not more shocked than he at the turn of events. 

Lucas takes no time hobbling to his feet, grabbing his sweatshirt and requesting help from Manon and Arthur to get him back to the coloc. 

Lucas doesn’t plan on being here when Eliott gets back.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys !  
> Please let me know if there's any mistakes that you catch while reading and make sure to give me your predictions on how you think the story will go!  
> There are some things in this universe that stay the same and other things that change...


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